absentminded

[Böoooob Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Look man, my foot hurts, I have two cavities, I'm tired I have only one more day off and Super Bad is almost 20 years old. Why do I all of the sudden have to care about Michael Cera again

[Cecile Fadat 🌹 @FadatCecile]

Le milliardaire américain Robert Kraft a dépensé 7 millions de dollars personnel pour que cette seule publicité de 60 secondes soit diffusée à la mi-temps du #SuperBowl2024 !

#stopantisémitisme

[absentminded @mlccm]

@HGMaassen Warum kann ich ihren Post nicht lesen? Die Posts vorher und nachher sind lesbar. Nur ein technisches Problem oder wird da selektiert was man lesen darf und was nicht? Danke.

[absentminded @mlccm]

@NotTodayEric And please get me a chair. My back is killing me.

[Jack Boot @IamJackBoot]

Hungry Hungry Hippos was a tragic game. They weren't actually hungry, it was emotional eating. It was a cry for help but we just laughed and laughed.

[Auschwitz Memorial @AuschwitzMuseum]

#NewPodcast

"Death Marches from Auschwitz towards Wodzisław Śląski and Gliwice"

On January 17, 1945, SS men began the evacuation of the Auschwitz camp. Approximately 56,000 prisoners – men and women marched, under armed escort, from different parts of the Auschwitz camp complex, towards Wodzisław Śląski and Gliwice. Thousands of people, during the so-called Death Marches, lost their lives.

Dr. Jacek Lachendro and Teresa Wontor-Cichy from the Research Center of the @AuschwitzMuseum talk about details of those tragic events.

Listen here: https://t.co/X3yVyiTlG8

We wish to thank @jonjetter from the Right Angle Productions & Brooke Stocken for their help in production of the English version of the #podcast.

[absentminded @mlccm]

As phones get bigger and bigger, my thumbs start aching. How does one manage this conundrum?

[absentminded @mlccm]

Have I ever seen a Wes Anderson movie I cared about? I don’t think so. I may be wrong.

[absentminded @mlccm]

Eat kimchi the day, go number 2 like a silkworm every day.
My daughter analyzed the subject apparently.
Buon appetito.

[absentminded @mlccm]

I want a Five Guys milkshake. I will also need a Ten Guys toilet afterwards.

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

genius

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

*the doctor looks up at me after reviewing my blood test for several minutes*
are you sure you’re not a donut?

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Nothing says "I've made poor life decisions" like a dude standing on the edge of his lawn drinking a PBR wearing an ankle monitor.

[Professor Karol Sikora @ProfKarolSikora]

Cancer survival rates in Wales are appalling, all whilst one of the most advanced cancer facilities in the world sits empty in Newport.

Countless suffering, and state-of-the-art equipment continues to rot away...

It is insanity, just insanity - no other words for it.

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

watching a marvel movie in the theater, i suddenly stand up & shout, “spoiler alert, you’re all nerds!” within seconds, fourteen grown adults all dressed as captain america pummel me into a dream state where i can’t see the color blue

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

one time my uncle drank three whole liters of rc cola for breakfast & by noon he was able to use e.s.p. to find several lost pets in the neighborhood

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

there’s a secret ingredient in my dad’s cologne that makes people think he’s a stuntman

[Visegrád 24 @visegrad24]

Actor David Schwimmer has blasted inaction of prestigious US universities against calls of genocide against Jews saying 'silence in complicity'

“These morally bankrupt Presidents testify before congress - incapable of answering even the most direct ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions.

Watch them duck and smirk at the unbridled antisemitism and calls for genocide on their campuses.

Where is the outrage among students, faculty and alumni demanding their resignations, an official apology and enforcement of the codes of conduct?”

David Schwimmer

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

*sharpening a candy cane so I can shank myself at my works Christmas party tomorrow so I can leave early*

[absentminded @mlccm]

@NoContextBrits Tit