Michael Jordan, CPA

[Pat Alexander @pat_alex0]

*world where Scott and Chris Hansen swapped jobs*

Scott: “And we will cut to our Fresno sting house as a predator has just now arrived an- HE’S MAKING A RUN FOR IT AAAND TACKLED FROM BEHIND”

Chris: “What kind of sick, depraved man… reaches for the pylon… at the goal line?”

[shipra @shipranotes]

Leonardo da Vinci on why inaction is a sin against potential

[Shivers @thinkingshivers]

I don't want a "dot." I don't want a "muse."

I want a scheming Chinese eunuch. I want a silver-tongued, unctuous vizier who says "most judicious, sire."

[tweet davidson @andyreed]

waking up and seeing your agent stopped to ask for permission 8h ago

[하 @AiHHHAi]

انت و أول مدير وظفك بدون خبرة

[Mr Knight @MrMoonKnightXD]

"Director del Caballero de los Siete Reinos y el escritor de Andor

[lil @lilacuous]

september 28th was never the same

[Censored Leak @CensoredLeak]

Bro carried the whole theater 💀

[GHOST @LordGhost____]

niggas who take psychedelics are gay as fuck

“i needa fight my inner demons”
“i needa experience ego death”

how bout you experience some fucking money broke ass nigga

[teen vampire, aged 40 @witchesflight]

Sauron tracking the Ring

[azurebridge @azurebridge]

there is someone out there who snagged the "[email protected]" email address btw

[Robert Wilkinson @robertwlk]

Peruvian owls hunt in pairs.

They're Inca hoots.

[Hyde 💨 @BreatheLesss]

Yeah bro I'm on that low-stimulation lifestyle. I play pre-2014 vidya, watch long YouTube videos, movies, audiobooks... nah, I'm off the reels, don't even show me. Tomorrow I'm going to play 7 hours of demon souls, reset my dopamine pathways and shit.

[metaphysical lamb @meta_lamb]

if “chances are slim” and “fat chance” both mean the odds are stacked against you, what is the ideal BMI of fate