Henry

[dane 🚩 @buckadeath]

"He was gay and unmarried, leaving behind no offspring to pollute the world."

[Big Glenn Network @BigGlennNetwork]

New fantasy football punishment unlocked

[tad @ghostofthesun89]

Foot fetishism has official reached Epic Bacon status

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

Country song 1960: I got laid off in December, lost the house this past July / and if you leave me, Mary-Anne, I’ll kill myself tonight

Country song today: A simple blade of grass makes me smile / And a baby is a kind of child.

[alob 🥀ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ @alob_e]

30-year-old guy who still gets fomo. Bro your life is over

[verynormalman @verynormalman]

Having 1-2 wines at work lunch sometimes makes you experience the rest of the day like you’re in mullholand drive

[payton @glass_wrld]

getting rid of a band tee you don’t wear anymore feels like putting a dog down

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

Soccer I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty sweaty ruined one

[ᯓ★ @chorio_actis]

daydreaming about all the hot sex i'd be out having if i wasn't so fucking autistic

[Blake Griffin @blakegriffin23]

watching babe. yeah tha movie about tha sheep herding pig..... laugh if u want its a classic. "that'll do pig... that'll do.

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

Americans love cars because they combine their two favorite things: sitting down and killing people

[Micha @Merzwoke]

how it genuinely feels to do whatever your manager tells you to:

[evan.. @dogparkranger]

i think she's using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money

[a @a8065287968522]

dudes be like big things coming then kill themselves

[Michael Caine @themichaelcaine]

I started out as a spy playing Harry Palmer now I am playing Finn McMissile in Cars 2

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Not eating so many Pringles nowadays. They need to win me over with a major ad campaign