breast mode

eating a big chewy pretzel in the bathroom while the shower warms up

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

New Yorkers, Avoid the bookings beloved

[cael @curpenter]

okay?

[Sapo Cururu com miopia @salgadomaufeito]

Pixels (2015) x Heat (1995)

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

POV you’re my wife cracking the bathroom door open after I’ve texted you “toilet paper”

[Mike Truk ⛁ @Wallop4000]

He is Not Manspreading he is Protecting His 3 Count Em Three Beverages

[World's Biggest Paving Slab @_Godotto]

Otacon's whole "I built a giant robot superweapon for the US military because giant robots in anime are really cool and they told me it would be a strictly defensive tool I never expected them to make it launch nuclear weapons" bit in MGS seems silly until you see this shit

[cj @futurevictim_]

the only lasting 9/11 memory i have is when the budweiser ad with the kneeling clydesdales came on during the super bowl and i said "those horses are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard

[THE KID MERO 🇩🇴 @THEKIDMERO]

@jakepaul YOU GOT BEAT THE FUCK UP NIGGA SHUT UP 😂😂😂 IF NETFLIX TOLD YOU BAD BUNNY WAS GONNA WALK YOU OUT AT YOUR NEXT ASS WHIPPIN YOU WOULD BE WAVING A PR FLAG ON COMMAND 😂😂😂

[John Frankensteiner @JFrankensteiner]

To Live and Die in LA only having a $6M budget, looking like this every frame, and having one of the greatest car chases ever filmed, gotta be one the greatest dollars-to-absolute-cinema ratios of all time, Friedkin and Müller were such gods

[Ilhan Omar @IlhanMN]

I didn’t do any of those things because I fear losing my dignity more than I fear losing my life. Something you coward losers will never understand. So fuck off.

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

This is the exact type of shit Future raps about

[breast mode @mr_jackpots__]

@scottmstringer shut da fuck up

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

The best Homer-eating sounds 🔊

-a thread

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

I do think if you don’t understand who the bad guys are in Starship Troopers you prob should be kept in a pen with a feed bag strapped to your face watching looped footage of explosions and funny nut shots. I think it would be a mercy. Ironically one of my most fascist opinions

[deg @degg]

men who mow the lawn while drunk make me sick. respect the lawn

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

@darth_erogenous ORC DANNY BROWN: Put the hai in the uruk // Green pussy with da syrup // Bruiser roll up on ya camp and eat the ass of the women (squad!)

DWARF 2010 KANYE WEST: (playing every synthesizer note at once) My bitch small like soy sauce

[Darth Erogenous @darth_erogenous]

ORC KENDRICK: I craft my blade i try to slay mistakes i made. you aint been underground like me. you aint laid out of sin like me. Green skin, dollar tint, dick long, money spent {Soulful beat switch} These caves dont hold secrets..

ELF DRAKE: How I always lose U in these woods

[jasper nathaniel @infinite_jaz]

Ben Gvir and friends wearing a noose to signal their support for executing detainees, clearly designed to look like a yellow hostage ribbon at first glance. That’s heritage minister Amichai Eliyahu on the right, who oversees the ethnic cleansing of Sebastia.

[Will 🦥 Menaker @willmenaker]

I didn't know who this woman was until this week, but I need her to KEEP SPEAKING PUBLICLY!