𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥

Back behind the BLUE Orange Curtain (#CA45) after 20 yrs in the fabulous foggy bubble of #CA12. 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇮🇱 / 🖕#MAGAats 🖕

[Jon Lovett @jonlovett]

In a surprise twist, the Epstein files released the attorney general.

[George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway3d]

🚨🚨BREAKING🚨🚨

CRIMINALLY ADJUDICATED SEX ABUSER SAYS CIVILLY ADJUDICATED SEX ABUSER NEVER DID ANYTHING CONCERNING AROUND HER: SOURCES

https://t.co/K4KI4Scwel

[The DreamCode Oracle @TheDreamOracle]

Aw, look at the poor little birthday boy—soggy, sulking, and fuming in his $5,000 Brioni suit like someone just told him McDonald’s was out of Filet-O-Fish. There he sits, drenched in irony and drizzle, face locked in that signature prune-scowl, like a wet paper bag full of grievances and expired Diet Coke.

This is the man who spent $45 million of taxpayer money—under the thinnest veil of "honoring the Army"—to throw himself a military cosplay parade in the middle of D.C. on his own birthday. Tanks. Flyovers. A National Special Security Event. The kind of pageantry you’d expect from Pyongyang, not Pennsylvania Avenue. And the universe, bless it, responded with rain. Just enough to frizz the combover and dampen the fascist theater.

He wanted roaring crowds, perfect choreography, adoring chants. What he got was a soggy spectacle half-drowned in protest signs reading “NO KINGS.” Because, guess what, Donnie: this is America. We don’t do monarchs. We barely tolerate HOA presidents.

You could see the tantrum bubbling under the surface like an unstable cheeseburger volcano. You just know the second the cameras were off, someone’s ketchup packet became a projectile. He’s probably still pacing around Mar-a-Lago demanding to know why the clouds were allowed to disrespect him on "his special day."

What makes it worse? That this taxpayer-funded vanity stunt happened while democratic leaders were literally being shot in Minnesota in a politically motivated attack. Real public servants, targeted. And yet Trump wanted the country to be glued to his parade, his stage, his soaked, pouting mug—as if the streets weren’t also flooded with grief and rage.

It’s the most Trump thing imaginable: take something solemn, hijack it for ego, drench it in tacky spectacle, and somehow still manage to look like a toddler denied a second cupcake.

So here’s to you, @realDonaldTrump. May every future birthday be as damp, underwhelming, and over-budget as this one. And may the American people never forget that when they asked for leadership, you gave them a sad, wet parade—and billed them for it.

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

I would like to nominate Maxwell Smart for national security advisor.

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@VetsForRL Dana Rohrabretskinov
Devin Nunes, Cow Litigator
“My” Kevin

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

Trump letting his campaign handlers mute him during the debate so that he behaves like a good boy has got to be the most Beta move in memory. Maybe they should add a shock collar or leash.

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Bradley Whitford @bradleywhitford]

Pretend we’re losing. No brakes.

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@HadleySheley Gawd, I cannot wait for this vapid casing of human skin to be thrown under the 🍊🤡 bus.

[Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann]

You got it! #GeneralFlynnBitch

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@thejackhopkins Don’t you just love all that legitimate political discourse?

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@JoJoFromJerz I’ve cherished this gem for nearly ten years. Best. Pillbox. Ever.

[Christopher Moore @TheAuthorGuy]

Those accusing me of being "as bias as Fox News" in my defense of San Francisco: Of course I'm fucking biased. It's my home town. I live here. I walk around the the City every day. I moved here from the North Shore of Kauai, so yeah, I like it here. In conclusion, fuck off.

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@lawofruby “Marjorie Merriweather of the Post”

🍊🤡 thinks the former owner was a journalist. She inherited the Postum Cereal Company from her father, which later became General Foods.

🤣

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@johncusack My last physical @netflix DVD is The Sure Thing. Watched it last night.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

Holy shit!

The FEMA alert just went off. My vaccine injection site sparked all the way down my arm, activating my George Soros Deep State Decoder Ring ™️

My eyes have started to glow; I feel stronger, faster — unstoppable.

I now control the Jewish Space Laser.

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

@TheAuthorGuy @ElizBDurkin Ok, Boomer. You’re honorary Gen X.

[𝚖𝚢𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚊 💙❄️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🖥 @mydigitaldiva]

Ok enough with the stoopid polls about paying for access to this 💩📺 social media joke, @X.

Buh bye. Millions of buh byes.

Duh.

Do it, @elonmusk, let the rest of your billions evaporate.