🦔

[christian @nopoweradeinusa]

jack black: A RIGGADIDDLY DOOOOO FLEEEHUUUUOOOO
11 year old me: this is the best movie of all time

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

my body: please... eat some normal food... maybe some vegetables... please
me: how about another slice of bread with a kraft single on it :)
my body: NO
me: ...ᶜʳᵘᶰᶜʰ ᶜʳᵘᶰᶜʰ ᶜʳᵘᶰᶜʰ

[ret @rad_milk]

running an illegal Arbys out of my shed

[wint @dril]

do not ever come to my gym with crayons and draw smiley faces all over the walls. i will put your ass in the gutter. i will knock you over

[jameswhite @JamesCageWhite]

Thanks everyone for buy my t shirt,now i have money to buy a nice belt,tomorrow I'm gonna wear this belt to company,very cool very swag,I like it:)

[christian @nopoweradeinusa]

any time a homeless guy asks me for money I say I don't have any and then I spend the next 10 minutes explaining bitcoin to him until he walks away

[leo @gullyguyleo]

in the woods

[wint @dril]

dont trust the dna tests. i determine my ancestry by looking at a bunch of racist cartoon characters to see which ones piss me off the most

[socks @sockvevo]

Worm eats dirt, bird eats worm, man eat bird. Notice that at each level of the food chain, about 90% of the energy is lost in the form of heat. We cut out the middle men. Join me, eating dirt, to become a being of pure energy.

[Pluto 🔮 @HtOwNzOuTLaW713]

Damian Lillard in the regular season vs Damian Lillard in the playoffs

[Sensations by Compliments @plopadop]

I'm sick of having teeth. Caring for them, worrying about them...forget about it! Get em out of there!

[Carlos A. R. de L. @carlosparisfr]

@GlennHowerton @KaitlinOlson

[bobby @bobby]

[holding a playstation controller while i watch Friends and pretending i'm controlling chandler]

[TOM MARTIN @tomhasideas]

SISTER JEAN 🔥 TAKE:

God likes the NCAA more than the NBA because “these young players play with their heart and not for financial gain.”

[pat tobin @tastefactory]

I’m starting to think we won’t be getting Mambo number 6. If it was coming, it would have happened by now

[slick @dlicj]

pisses me off when I’m taking a longer than average drink at the drinking fountain and someone says “hey save some for the fishes” when just before i’d filled up a bucket at the drinking fountain and drove it to the nearest lake and dumped it in there

[UMBC Athletics @UMBCAthletics]

You know what, let's get pumped the only way we know how....Send us all the dog pix