Kali Zermeno

🤠

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Fear of Intimacy and Loathing in Las Vegas

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

OSHA? Never heard of her.

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Meaningful notes app highlights from 2018 -

Never again will I try to mend a strained relationship at the local Red Lobster.

Hiding pop tarts under my bed in 2nd grade so when I was singing chumbawumba and bouncing on the bed I could throw the crumbs in the air like confetti

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Smoking on that shit that made Will feral

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Has anyone said ‘always funny in sillydelphia’ yet

[dick snickers @smithsara79]

RHCP: Red Hot Chili Peppers

my brain: Real Housewives of Chili Peppers

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Me doing yoga — “I’ll rearrange my own guts thank you very much”

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

@_crylee_ Ty 🌼

[wint @dril]

my 600 lb sucked off life

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

You think you will but you’ll be broke and do shit like this

[marie @PuccaNoodles]

eagerly waiting to be a homeowner so I can do stuff like this to my property

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

@collnsmith Mapquest directions

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

🍃🌾

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

Thinking about the time my ex and I had such a loud argument at Planks Pizza about party cut vs pie cut that the chef came out himself with a mangled half pie half party cut zombie of a pizza, threw it on the table and said ‘ok now shut the fuck up’

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

@mrswaltskinner It’s already in motion, it’s only a matter of time 👀

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

I’m three kids in a trench coat emotionally

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

I’ll never be on a first name basis with my parents, that shits weird

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

I have specific podcast desires today (fyre fest responses in real time)

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

According to Twitter

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

I’m twelve

[Kali Zermeno @okayzermeno]

You call it internalized misogyny I call it my fucken personality