Owen Albrecht

you move your feet, you lose your seat

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

*At wedding*

Mom: “why don’t you dance with [redacted]? She’s so nice!”

Me: Sorry mom, I joined the Night’s Watch.

Uncle Dave: “And now his watch begins.”

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@ChrisP4571 @CFBwSam Fr I was like “at least we’ll make a bowl game” after ODU and then look what happened

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@haliejas Hey do you want to come over and watch rocket videos

[Dan Labbe @dan_labbe]

“And when will we hold these elections?”

“On a Tuesday. During work.”

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@RishiOutpostYT Been waiting for rishi to speak on this

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@greenbeanswords Real

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@JoeBiden

[Vincent Martella @vince_martella]

that’s exactly how the Lisan Al Gaib would drink a beer

[Retro Anime @retro_anime]

24 years ago today, the first volume of Naruto was released. 🍥

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@haliejas Which highway exit will it be at?

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@haliejas I would have laughed

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@haliejas He’s a keeper

[JoJo 💕 @skittlewizard1]

@immolaytion No babe, that’s girldumbass

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Filmed over the course of 16 hours and requiring 156 takes, Tobey Maguire did the "tray catch" scene in Spider-Man without any special effects.

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

yeah she’s the love of my life but she’s also my big dawg

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

me when she replies fast

[Owen Albrecht @owenalbrecht_]

@haliejas Right

[Salvage1009 @NewSalvage]

Peter CHILL 😭 #SpiderMan2

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Heartwarming Moment: Steve Irwin's Son Shares Incredible Moment, Hatching A Baby Turtle of a Species That His Dad Discovered https://t.co/00aEqlJfaF

[Insomniac Games @insomniacgames]

Next Friday will be here before you know it...

[Prof. Feynman @ProfFeynman]

When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It's pain only for others.

It's the same thing when you are stupid.