Matt

[Balinese Bee of Dreaming @BeeBalthazar]

Anybody do this yet

[Will Sloan @WillSloanEsq]

Tim & Eric snubbed from the NY Times TV list

[john @johnsemley3000]

“hey little fella! I’m doin this all fer you! HUH!”

[Deva Hazarika @devahaz]

So JD’s position is we’ve created unprecedented wealth and prosperity in America, but many Americans haven’t been able to participate in that bonanza, so the government should redistribute the money more evenly to benefit everyone. Interesting.

[Jazz Memes @JazzMemes]

“The WIFI password is on the back of the router”

The back of the router:

[Sherrod Brown @SherrodBrown]

Jon Husted looked this mother in the eye, and promised he wouldn't vote to cut her daughter's health care.

One week later, that's exactly what he did.

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

I do love that Raymond, sir

[Master of the Flying Jetski @jetskitosway2]

"the playstation has no games" was prophetic. we were warned

[Kazmo @heykazmo]

Wes Anderson fighting game. Just bear with me here.

[nick usen @nickusen]

“Look I uh I found something. Something in the store. A place. bu but It uh it shouldn’t be there. But it is. Dontcha see? look I…I know how this this sounds, but It’s uh it’s MAssive in there.”

[Dear Thommy 💘 @thom_weights]

fucking dying thinking about doing Madness at karaoke, just saying the intro then skanking on stage yelling ONE STEP BEYOND every 30 seconds

[Former FBI Deputy Director Nick Lutsko @NickLutsko]

b-b-b-b-billion

[Jeremy Herbert @DDayFilms]

Imagine how terrifying it would be if C-3PO started sprinting at you.

[pj @pjayevans]

When Alma spreads butter too loudly in Phantom Thread

[paige @BonerWizard]

I asked my 3yo if he could name all the Beatles and he said “John, Poop, Pee and Gunk”.

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

She was kinda right

[chris oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

the general vibe in america right now is that all the people in charge are hyper greed-motivated and ripping the copper wire out of the walls of the country as fast as they can because something unknown but certainly terrible is about to happen