Amy Plumlee

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I have covered
the water
that was in
the reflecting pool

and which
you were probably
hoping
was not green

forgive me
I am an algal bloom
and you made the water
so warm

[Judd Legum @JuddLegum]

1. On March 11, Trump toured a Thermo Fisher Scientific facility in Ohio and repeatedly praised the company.

On *the same day* Trump bought between $15,000 and $50,000 of Thermo Fisher stock.

The purchase was "UNSOLICITED," meaning it was requested by the customer, not recommended by an advisor.

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Jeremiah @suspirant]

Republicans when a beloved watershed is pristine and untouched:

[Being J Wood @BeingJWood]

No comment necessary.

[Amy Plumlee @plumqueen05]

@RepNancyMace oh my god i hate you so much

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

I’m not easily shook these days but the number of people who think the appropriate punishment for not following a masked federal agent’s orders is assassination is rather shocking

[alpha @omarsbigsister]

mozilla firefox getting destroyed by AI. 4 gb RAM phones and 8 gb RAM computers only next year. data centers giving people airborne cancer because of how poisonous they are. i am tired. i am tired!!!!!!

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

shit has been named poop of the year by ass

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

just saw two SNAP recipients walking out the rolex store they had new rolexes on they climbed into lamborghinis and accidentally crashed them into each they got out laughing saying “it’s okay the taxpayers will buy us a new lamborghinis”

that’s what you fucking idiots sound like

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

photos of Trump sleeping through yesterday's Oval Office event via Andrew Harnik of Getty

[🔛🔝 @killingherass]

retweet if you actually just fucking hate AI

[Trita Parsi @tparsi]

My God

Green Beret Anthony Agular recounts how a 5-year-old Palestinian kissed his hands to thank him for the food Agular gave him

Seconds later, Israeli soldiers shot and killed the starving child

ISIS prisoners were treated with more dignity than these children, Agular says

[Analytica Camillus @AnalyticaCamil1]

@KylieJaneKremer @RepDonBacon So what you’re saying is that Don’s the only GOP congressman who isn’t a literal toddler?

Also, that’s not how international cartography works, there are committees for this sort’ve thing.

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island

and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods

forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

This is a total lie btw.

[Brett Murphy @BrettMmurphy]

ProPublica just obtained a remarkable directive to those remaining at USAID: Empty the safes with the classified and personnel records and then ...

"Shred as many documents first, and reserve the burn bags for when the shredder becomes unavailable or needs a break."

[DCCC @dccc]

Republicans inherited one of the strongest stock markets in history and in 1 month they've fucked it all up.

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

Every single fucking Republican president in my lifetime has crashed the goddamn economy. How many times are we going to let this happen?