Slut Puppy

I got it عيسى‎ LORD RAYEL. I need to be Saved.
Please. Thank You. Praise this GOLD Puss

[Slut Puppy @pupslut]

I can be your whore I am the dirt you created @LORD_RAYEL

[CUDDLES @CuddleYourCat]

Sext: I don't remember you.

[ruth buzzy @home_napping]

every second you think about someone else is a second you're not thinking about me

[steve suckington @SteveSuckington]

How I clean my house:

1. Open Pandora
2. Get high
3. Decide to make list of chores
4. Grab iPad
5. Tweet for 5 hours in filthy living room

[Joel Danger @joeldanger]

I don't get drunk, I get able to tolerate other people.

[You know @Tmoney68]

I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you.

[Amber @ambamthankyamam]

Roll up to da club like, "sup Haterz, you got 30 gallons of mayonnaise or what?"

We're talking about Costco, right?

[Taquito @Jazzzzzmina]

Spoiler Alert: We're all "that" girl.

[secret account @ramenfuneral]

"selfies. sushi. starbucks. selfies. sushi. starbucks. selfies. sushi. starbucks. selfies. sushi. starbucks" - every white girl's instagram

[CUDDLES @CuddleYourCat]

If you're looking for a woman who will do literally ANYTHING you want just look for the girl at a club wearing a tiara.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

I always do things in reverse so no one can accuse me of being too forward.

[The Planet @ShipInTheKnight]

I always keep too much information available because sometimes you need people to back the fuck off.

[Slut Puppy @pupslut]

If you can't find anything nice to say..

Stick a Dick in your mouth.

That always works for me. Just saying.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

Fun Fact: Until the invention of smartphones, only guys knew how much you could get accomplished with only one available hand.

[^ @Blanchenmanch]

I've started showing up places *sober.

*on coke

[Democratic Warrior @_correctomundo]

If you don't know who else to follow in here, you're an idiot.
Follow the ones who always RT me.
How do you think I got followers you idiot.