rainer fm

Misogynist is too restrictive.
I think the word you're looking for is misanthrope.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

The key to surviving a shark attack is to lure it into the desert.

[KoKeni Snap'sSquatch @KoKeniSaskqatch]

In my defense your honour, their account looks like a whore-bot.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

I was told it's called "ghost" lighting.

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: No one has seen Stephen Miller and the screwworm infestation in the same room...

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have been more careless.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

the innocent have no reason to lie and yet

[Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56]

This cute girl watching me closely at the "self checkout" wants me. I just know it!

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

While not technically an official Mark Twain quote, I'm confident it would have been had Twain figured out a way to deke it into Tom Sawyer.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

Never ask a mobster to take care of a baby, although a teenage girl could probably take care of a guy with an uzi.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

@SLorenzen62 Exactly.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

Empathy is stupid. Feeling bad is bad enough, but empathizing is trying to feel the feelings of those who feel worse than you do. Why would anyone want to do that and get sucked into their bummer vortex?

[uj @umeshjj7]

we celebrate busy like it’s a personality. nobody asks busy doing what. or busy for who.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

Trump has always claimed to have never done anything wrong so, in a way, it would be hypocritical of him NOT to pardon all these crooks and fraudsters for doing the same crimes.

[Mickey Mt. Vernon @WhatevaConc]

every bad driver has my exact commute

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

@suecorvette Are you more heartbroken or livid?

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

I’m Kid Rock.”
“I’m Naomi Wolf.”
“I’m Kanye West.”
“I’m Matt Taibbi.”
“I’m Catturd. Those stories, plus Rob Schneider, tonight on 60 Minutes.”

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

She did so well on finding the president's faces in trees portion; I really thought she'd be a better girlfriend.

[Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart]

People who say they “couldn’t be happier” are probably having an orgasm

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

I like to summer in Gibraltar, but I only go for the white water rafting.

[rainer fm @rainerfm]

@iGreenGod As long as it's quick and painless it doesn't much matter, although sleeping holds a certain appeal.