s

🗻colorado🗻

[Ayatollah Kimani @Steebie_K]

they will pry this app from my cold dead hands

[ً @artfuIchaos]

and when the things on your vision board become the things on your camera roll, make sure you notice.

[wolfie 🐾 @dumbahhdoggy]

fleshlight brand called "I Can't Believe It's Not Pussy!"

[b @cuntybangs]

was what we had real or cake

[Chris @Epic_Tweets31]

I fell at work today

[limpkin @acealeam]

you shouldnt have to go to work if the moon is doing something interesting

[thomas @nnepenthes]

she really chopped it up with everyone

[໊ @ilswyth]

today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat. and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love

[chad @badboychadhoy]

Girth certificate? Is this anything?

[Reads with Ravi @readswithravi]

There’s an old Tibetan proverb that I love:

“If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves.”

[َ @4NGELWING]

i’m pregnant with laughter and you’re the father bro

[Nick Suss @nicksuss]

screw 10 and 2. driving home tonight with my hands at 9 and 5. it's what she would've wanted.

[marlie @P4SSENGERSEAT]

My mum's taken to blasting dolly songs and chain smoking we haven't seen levels of hysteria like this since George Michael

[henry the vacuum @henry_sux]

that rat bitch jolene did this

[bethany @thenightbethore]

no bras tomorrow for anybody. tits at half mast

[Ishmael Johnson @IshmaelRJohnson]

“She wants to rest in cotton because after a life of wearing rhinestones, she wants to finally be comfortable”

[Bruno @brunoboyyyyy]

I love opening Grindr, telling 3–5 guys “not much, just showered, about to eat dinner,” then disappearing from the app for 4 days 😭