sammi squarepants

high in vitamin c, antioxidants, and other nutrients

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

The Middle by Jimmy Eats World always finds you when you need it most

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@brianjoralvarez exacttttly

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@partyghoul69 serotonin claim

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

in:
• boob supremacy
• melodic music
• bad teeth
• being bad at things aka cringe
• structured pants
• dark brown
• rom coms
• flirting with everyone

out:
• microtrends
• delivery apps
• tummy problems
• binge watching
• binge drinking
• polycules
• therapy

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

So what we fry rice
So what we are shrimp

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

I LOVE BEYONCÉ GO SEE RENAISSANCE IN THEATERS - WHAT A LEGEND

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@hellotefi Thank you deeply for your bravery on this issue, tefi. I thought I hallucinated this album

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

ELLEN FOR GOLDEN BACHELORETTE. IMMEDIATELY.

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@taylornation13 @aabbeykat16 I genuinely cannot believe this amazing lyric was prefaced with “tick tock on the clock” - it’s like she wants to piss me off

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

I swear to god if Grouplove or The Naked and Famous had written New Romantics it would’ve been a top 10 hit

[bailey moon a deux @baileymoon96]

if i was jerry seinfeld, i never would've broken up with elaine. i would've called her beautiful every day...cherished her

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@elfishh I can be in your earbuds helping you bullshit from a van outside the school w my secret cameras

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

babe i was just being kafkaesque babe come back i was just being lynchian

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

My hobbies? Being beautiful and nice

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@elfishh EXACTLY like anything I don’t do ur gonna b like “have you ever thought about….”

[sergeant dick lips the third @TeahLhompson]

hey so we’re actually just looking for someone who isn’t a pathological liar and psychopath hope this helps

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

@elfishh Little does she know you’re a phone girl

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

wow this is bad… she’s cancelled now

[Sophie Ross Brooks @sophrossbrooks]

Sophie Turner “never kept the batteries and pens stocked,” a source tells TMZ.

[sammi squarepants @samsaplanet]

this is literally justin

[Kevin Feigoli @cbmmaster]

It's Ryan Gosling