Sam W. Anderson

the W is for Whoa!

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

Good news down there, your scream are money bill!
* Grammar correction: Good news: down there, your scream are money, Bill!

[ARCANE BULLSHIT @BullshitArcane]

TRADE YOUR FINAL SHRED OF HUMANITY FOR $$$$$$!
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This was inspired by discussions in the HOLE DWELLERS SUPPORT AND MARKETPLACE group on facebook. It is a lovely place for like-minded folks who are trapped in holes.
#hole #holesaga #horrormeme #workfromhome #getrich

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

@huttopian @mcsweeneys The bidenisyourdadnow link and where it goes is *chef’s kiss*

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

"His Twitter profile was unappreciated in his time, not least because he made almost no attempt to tell anyone it existed." -- Cleveland Plain Dealer on me

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

Brilliant and could not possibly be improved upon, except maybe — hear me out — by replacing “me/I” with “Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.)”

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

Paris: An expensive, once in a lifetime experience.

Me: A $20 experience you can do most weekends and every other Tuesday when I’m not working at Food Lion.
https://t.co/YprKepCoIz

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

Jared Kushnar. Keanu Reefs. Just two of the people not yet following me on Twitter.

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

@natdogkatdog To whomever’s house this is in: Congrats on having so many nutcrackers

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

After hearing this on Bananas I spent the next ten minutes thinking about different arrangements of the words, e.g. “jam stuff is my dick” or “my dick stuff is jam”

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

No bro thank you bro

[Field Seconds @fieldseconds]

Thank you bro

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

Thanks bro

[Field Seconds @fieldseconds]

This like the funniest thing I ever read bro

[Field Seconds @fieldseconds]

Should you eat that kohlrabi? The answer may surprise you: https://t.co/zs4JlRaJ19 #kohlrabi #sustainableag

[Dionne Warwick @dionnewarwick]

Draw 4 has ruined my family gatherings. That is the real comment here.

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

“Though none did read his early tweets, tweet he did. O yes! And naught came of it; naught but a long and lucrative career as a professional Twitter person.” — T.S. Eliot, on me

[Yea No 🍉 @HeyHeyItsEJ_]

@therealalisonw Oh my lord, it’s them 😩

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

@realspencergray @Nate_Cohn Ah crap. Yeah, looks like you’re right. (Times has updated their numbers now too.) Does appear there may be some outstanding mail-in ballots anyhow, so that’s something.

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

“To understand Sam W Anderson one must examine those early tweets, before he had any followers at all besides other accounts he managed for work. It was in these early entries, which zero people read, that his undeniable genius shone through.” - Dr. Maya Angelou

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

@deathtocrazy @Nate_Cohn @Redistrict Tell me when you find out! Do you think the Biden billboards maybe emboldened some of the secret democrats? Probably wishful thinking that many 2016 Trump voters switched, but maybe a few?

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

@gregnyburg @Nate_Cohn I want to know this too, but one thing I can offer (as a Wayne County native) is that there was a grassroots push here, including at least 6 Biden billboards, all funded by local individuals (and a few of us expats). Maybe it worked?

[Sam W. Anderson @samwanderson]

We are excited to announce most of these posts will use the pronoun “I” rather than “we,” except when coming from Sam W. Anderson’s PR team: Shawna, Chet, Lorna F., and Lorna B.