woonie mcgoonie

i’m a lucky girl and everything always works out for me.

[Chowder 🐺 @imbrownonline]

hate when my gf shows me younger pictures of herself and asks if I think she was pretty. like yes I would have groomed you, now what

[TATIANNA @TATIANNANOW]

I’m invested in that wicker penis. Will it be shown? It’s wicker so why tf not. Show us.

[Matthew Zeitlin @MattZeitlin]

https://t.co/pd6ko51x1o

[JoëlMatipFanClub @jmatipfanclub]

You’re just blatantly not me nan

[Thomas White @len0killer]

If I was a military commander we would be taking heavy casualties at all times, often for little or no gain. Lots of injuries as well

[Geoff @kwoade]

Please zoom in and read the handwritten sign.

[jules @gaythotgirlson]

turns out i am deeply sad despite simultaneously feeling the best i’ve felt in a long time. unsure of how to reckon with this

[Dan Nolan @dan__nolan]

I just had this crazy conversation with this guy who said there were three people who had four top 40 hits in four decades, and I pointed out that Cher actually had five in five decades, and he responded well, five is not four.

[★☭MassStrikeNow☭★ @strike_dr]

Alien Predators are more human than IDF

[Penicuik Athletic @PenicuikAth]

88’ | 🟥 RED CARD for Hawick’s Paul Tansey, who as he is being substituted, takes his shirt off and jumps into the stand to go for a supporter

[julian casamigos @KevCantHang]

Fella at the bar is rizzing up some bad hoes by telling them he got molested

[matt @ruffledsavior]

the last time i really loved a woman she lovebombed me, manipulated me, and used my deepest insecurities against me in the bedroom. i can't even bring myself to date anymore because i don't think i'll ever find someone that awesome again

[tarnished evil @PleasantAndEvil]

happy birthday to all horses in the southern hemisphere

[buth’s hole @warm__hole]

Who up and fat

[Whitney @witlegit]

The small serious breathing of a baby who is considering eating the object he is studying in his hands.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Priest at My Funeral: [flipping through page after page of the Eulogy I wrote for myself] Wow this guy really hated Steel Dan

[20 Years Ago Sports @20YearsAgoSport]

SportsCenter top plays for Friday July 28, 2006