nekkid

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

My favorite human act is kindness.

[nekkid @sliveryfox]

If you rub behind Diane's ears, she will purr like a Keaton.

[Island Girl @_Water_Baby]

The most effective tool of a liar is your desire to believe him.

[Jackman...Forever @TheAlexP]

[at Home Depot]

Where are your ties?

Sir? This is Home Depot.

*sigh* ok, where are your neck wranglers?

[WhatserName @IamEveryDayPpl]

Him: "Babe, bring me my toolbox please."

Me: <naked> "Ok here, but hurry up. I have a hair appointment."

[Ekim Drof @mlkef]

My idea of a multi tool is one of those spatulas with the bottle opener on the end.

[Bʀɪᴀɴɪᴀᴄ® @BGH70]

*uses tongs to grab your attention*

[Just J @junejuly12]

Brings the right tool* for the job

*corkscrew

[Vicalicious @thevickster_sa]

Walks into builders warehouse...

Me: do you have a trade-in policy for old tools

Sales: yes ma'am we do

Me pointing at hubs, how much?

[🇺🇸 Happy ChillMore™ 🇨🇦 @cravin4]

Wife: What would you like for Father's Day?
Me: Ties and power tools.
Wife: *smirks* That's what you got me for Valentine's Day.

[Alan Felyk @AlanFelyk]

It went from flowery ties to bolo ties to zip ties.

--The history of Father's Day presents at my house

[Dⓔⓢⓟⓘⓒⓐⓑⓛⓔ_B☄️ @BeagirlNJ]

Went to Home Depot today to pick up some new tools. Three of them asked for my number.

[Lord James Alvarez @ObscureGent]

Brings tongs to a knife fight, because somebody needs to serve the salad.

[nekkid @sliveryfox]

@saturdaycontest https://t.co/ZSpAaUSqNI

[nekkid @sliveryfox]

You can tell a lot about a man by his ties that keep him gagged & bound to a bed post while he whines about forgetting to choose a safe word

[nekkid @sliveryfox]

You can tell a lot about a man by his ties that keep him gagged & bound to a bed post while he whines about forgetting to choose a safe word

[AbbyDabbyDoo @DearAuntAbby]

I am woman. If you hear me sigh, you better apologize for that thing you know you did.

[Sir Jimöthy 🐐 @pbforker]

Family isn't blood. It's the ppl you surround urself with that lift you up when ur down. That make you smile when you feel like you can't.