microwave

I love typing on my keyboard

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

there’s not enough enrichment in my enclosure and pretty soon I’ll need to act out

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

I would loveee solitary confinement. I can’t stand people!

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@proudbugman we can’t all be perfect

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

job interviewer: hey so what’s the large gap in your resume from?

me: *breaks down sobbing?”

[ʰ @easterngoblin]

Ill really die bout this shit

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

I can fix any problem by simply going on a little adventure

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

sorry i’m late i woke up soaked in blood

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@cumtweetsdotcom sending a virtual care package of lots of bananas and trinkets

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

the moon looks like a comfy place to nap

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

me and the all the ladies I pull

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@SniffinGlue22 Purd up

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@cumtweetsdotcom senior jambon?

[vita @majipres]

“ew you sit on your bed with your outside clothes on..” bitch I will shoot myself and bleed onto this bed

[clay ⛷️ @hanfjob]

slowed and reverbed? chopped and screwed? what’s next, sucked and fucked?

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

looking to volunteer to be the next laika. get me out of here.

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

my worst experience is every single conversation I’ve had with anyone ever

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@SniffinGlue22

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@BurnerDontask soon

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@shitpoetic me before I continue to doomscroll

[microwave @slowlittleguy]

@realBoneDuck I haven’t looked at a calendar in 10 years. Life changing!