shawn

i'm not much into health food; i am into champagne

[shawn @smbaltha]

🎶 he was a

[Union Rep Taylor Swift @weaktwigs]

If I say that Robert Pattinson is Nicole Kidman’s one and only daughter does that make sense to everyone

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

John Travolta is experimenting with an incredibly powerful look. I will be monitoring this situation

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

I didn’t even need anything from the grocery store, I just came to hear some Gin Blossoms.

[yalitza apariciosus @dunevillenuve]

the concept of giving leonardo dicaprio a kpop lightstick on oscars night

[shawn @smbaltha]

A NICOLE EWAN REUNION my beloved moulin rouge alumni

[shawn @smbaltha]

that cut to jesse plemons after announcing michael b jordan best actor, my beloved friday night lights alumni

[Vulture @vulture]

cate blanchett, probably: this BLOWS

[chase @_chase_____]

choosing to sit at the bar at a restaurant so the bartenders know i have the heart of a cowboy

[Chris @citehchris]

i hope bad bunny brings that pop tart out to sacrifice

[shawn @smbaltha]

i will never recover from the loss of juneshine blood orange mint

[corb @awshuqs]

your email has found me cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

nerds are my favourite candy because i’ve always wanted to eat aquarium gravel and it takes the edge off

[shawn @smbaltha]

this never would have happened if we were in red jerseys instead of these tacky powder blues

[ANTIFAldo @ANTIFAldo]

I want them to play the field goal DOINK noise when they close my casket

[shawn @smbaltha]

carson beck still part of the adult blonde man murder eyes club (other members: joe burrow, jack del rio)

[shawn @smbaltha]

good news is i can finally cancel fubo which i’ve been having to use for sports gods reasons ever since the youtube tv/espn debacle

[shawn @smbaltha]

plus i am terrified of curt cignetti

[shawn @smbaltha]

i am handling this better than i would have handled a sugar bowl loss

[shawn @smbaltha]

alas

[shawn @smbaltha]

cackling at that shot of eli because same buddy