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smerobin
@smerobin
I'm not sure how I got here but I'm pretty sure I carried a watermelon.
Canada
Joined November 2018
1.4K
Following
5.7K
Followers
14.4K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
smerobin
@smerobin
about 7 years ago
My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.
smerobin
retweeted
Natalie Would
@_NatalieWould
about 1 year ago
I can already tell I'm going to be a high maintenance ghost
smerobin
retweeted
KoKeni Snap'sSquatch
@KoKeniSaskqatch
about 1 month ago
Oh, you're a steward? Name 5 stews?
smerobin
retweeted
smerobin
@smerobin
about 1 month ago
The fun thing about getting your bloating under control is getting to admit that it's fat
Who to follow
CrazyFeralCatLady
@kcobra11
don't bother.
Christina, mother of spiders ✊🦇👻🤘🐍
@Aikiwomannc
BLM. Inked nerd w/ADHD 🤘 Tool Slipknot Sleep Token Architects - Somehow had tweets in @Newsweek @ThePoke @Cheezburger Avi by @RiotGrlErin 🎃 Always Halloween
Heatherhere 👽
@Heatinblack
duck, duck, goose
smerobin
retweeted
katie
@katefeetie
about 1 month ago
[someone on twitter trying to think of the oldest age possible] 40
smerobin
retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEric
about 1 month ago
Facebook: your family is here. Instagram: your friends are here. Twitter: there is a cow here.
smerobin
retweeted
Natalie Would
@_NatalieWould
about 1 month ago
*gets into an existential debate with CAPTCHA*
smerobin
retweeted
Sweet Momissa
@sweetmomissa
about 1 month ago
I’m sorry that you suck… have you tried not sucking? ~me as a therapist
smerobin
retweeted
meghan
@deloisivete
about 1 month ago
I got the printer working -me, flirting
smerobin
@smerobin
about 1 month ago
The fun thing about getting your bloating under control is getting to admit that it's fat
smerobin
retweeted
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred
about 1 month ago
If you ask the Jehovah’s Witness to come in and live with you they can’t say no
smerobin
retweeted
Ⓜ️isterD
@MisterD78UK
about 1 month ago
Me in my 20's: "let's find a solution" Me in my 40's: "fuck it, be the problem"
smerobin
retweeted
DaddyJew
@DaddyJew
about 1 month ago
made it through April without seeing a single “it’s gonna be May” meme. the world is healing
smerobin
retweeted
octopus/caveman
@octopuscaveman
about 1 month ago
I talk to kids about 24 hour Walmart the way old people used to tell me things like “when I was a kid this was all orange groves”
smerobin
retweeted
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
9 months ago
Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga The world could really use a dancing baby right now…
smerobin
retweeted
Bob Golen
@BobGolen
about 1 month ago
"Doc, can I administer my own anesthesia?" "Knock yourself out."
smerobin
retweeted
Stefan Urquelle
@OfficeofSteve
about 1 month ago
It would be more convenient if public bathrooms had doorbells
smerobin
retweeted
Bob Golen
@BobGolen
about 1 month ago
Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.
smerobin
retweeted
meghan
@deloisivete
about 1 month ago
Standing desk usage so far: time sitting: 90% time standing: 5% time accidentally hitting the button that makes it go up and down: 142%
smerobin
retweeted
KoKeni Snap'sSquatch
@KoKeniSaskqatch
about 1 month ago
Why is it that dudes say the grossest shit but I drop one "Let's make like a tampon and get out of this bloody hole" at the end of the shift and they're all over here shaking their heads and telling me I went too far?
smerobin
retweeted
Ghostface Kryllah
@kryzazzy
about 1 month ago
When I was a kid I really wanted to be an adult, but now that I’m adult I really just want to be a house cat
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