teejax

BURN IT DOWN, drops December 2020. Co-host of @BexarStage's Yes And Ask Me. Don't mess with a Mama Bexar.

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Why isn't there a reality show yet called, "FLINT: Fix the Water"?

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Y'ALL REMEMBER DVD CHAPTER TITLES??

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Kudos to @SurvivorCBS for actually having bandages the color of the players' skin! 😮 #Survivor44

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@JamesMarstersOf Reppin' Planned Parenthood at the polls in Texas because women deserve the right to make choices about their own bodies! Right @JamesMarstersOf?

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When he's a 10, but he got sucked into a board game for 26 years and now he's back with daddy issues.

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I don't know what it is about a sunburn that signals every white woman over 50yo to make an unsolicited comment on it, but there is clearly a directive.... 😒

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430amMe would like to thank 2DaysAgoMe for the leftover powdered mini donuts. ✌

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Temple, TX is a 2nd Amendment cesspool even a @bucees can't save.

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Excuse me, can you point me toward the Ladies' Silo??

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I just spent $100 on a fuckton of dollhouse stuff.

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Do you know how many times I've almost flashed the pizza guy? And do you know how many times I *have*?

[HeSaidSheSaid @WeSaidWeSaid]

She said: It's a very long song. But it's a very short time to wedge a sofa into a phone booth, so.... It's all perspective, really.

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I *genuinely* just hesitated, fridge door open, trying to decide which block of cheese would best pair with my mango hard lemonade.

World War 3 is rocking me. ✌😎

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This weighted blanket makes it 30lbs harder to get out of bed.

[Kevin Sciretta @kevinsciretta]

Oh goddamnit it's the fucking Olympics. Son of a bitch.

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@JimBurchill Happy.... birthday?
❤ COVID

[Beto O'Rourke @BetoORourke]

When I’m governor, we won’t have to worry every time the temperature drops.

[Brian Sutorius @bsuto]

The bones/no bones dog but normal/angry tummy instead

[SteLyons @stelyons]

Can you explain this gap in your resume?

That's line spacing to help the document breathe.

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Thinking of you, today, @andrewjarecki.