testtest

Go follow @realonlinemom

[testtest @testmom]

Why it’s true? idk

[Moderately Mom @moderately_mom]

Me: my phone is so cluttered, I need to delete some texts and pictures.

My anxiety: don't you dare erase that recipes screenshot, we haven't used it yet AND what if one day we need to know exactly what mom texted us on September 23, 2019?

[testtest @testmom]

Sounds good, doesn’t work

[Professional Worrier @pro_worrier_]

I’m not saying I have superpowers

But

I just went to target and ONLY got items on my list.

[testtest @testmom]

My son had a class field trip today

I got a phone call from his teacher explaining that he got a bloody nose on the ride back

He apparently had been cupping his hands and making armpit flatulence noises with such ferocity that he actually managed to punch himself in the nose

[testtest @testmom]

Yeah, me neither

[awepixies on ig ☁️🧸 @awepixies]

can you imagine getting in bed, easily falling asleep, waking up feeling rested, having a good day and then doing it al over again??

[Serious Mom Shit @Seriousmom_shit]

My husband worked from home today with the kids and I got this following text not even an hour after I left:

“Do they usually do stupid stuff all day long or just a small portion of the morning?”

Blessings upon him.

[testtest @testmom]

These are the only thing stronger than a toddler holding a toy you are trying to take away

[testtest @testmom]

4’s can burn

[Anecdotal Birthcontrol @AnecdtlBrthCtrl]

4- Mommy, can you jump?

Me- Not right now buddy.

4- Because you're too heavy?

[testtest @testmom]

I was in the checkout line at the grocery store today when my son said, "look, mom, a pirate."

So, I look up and what do I see? I see a man in line behind us with an eye patch.

[testtest @testmom]

Imagine singing happy birthday to her

[testtest @testmom]

@chaselyons Mama's proud 😉

[testtest @testmom]

Me trying to leave brunch after 7 mimosas

[That Mom Tho @mom_tho]

3: I want to drink from the water fountment

3: An octosauce has 8 tentacolds

3: I have my hat but can’t find my glubs

3: Where are my fucking markers??

[testtest @testmom]

This is Goldddd!!!

[The Dad Briefs @SladeWentworth]

Son #2: Daddy, will you remember me in an hour?

Me: Of course I will.

S2: Will you remember me in a day?

Me: Yes.

S2: Will you remember me in a week?

Me: Yes.

S2: In a month?

Me: Yes, I will.

S2: Ok good. Knock knock ...

Me: Who’s there?

S2: See? You already forgot!

[Mommy Needs a Life @momneedsalife3]

My weekend’s gonna be lit. And by lit I mean youth sports and grocery shopping.

[testtest @testmom]

@Seriousmom_shit another one for the win 😉

[testtest @testmom]

@MumInBits YESSSSSS!!!

[testtest @testmom]

MEEEEEE

[John Cena @SohnCena]

I had to exchange numbers with another parent because my kid enjoys playing with her kid. Do our children even appreciate the sacrifices we make for them?

[testtest @testmom]

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Omelet.
Omelet who?
Omelet Mommy sleep in today.
#momjoke

[Cydni Beer @cydbeer]

3yo: Who ate all my chips?!!

Me: You ate all your chips.

3yo: I’m so sad all because of my own self.

Me: Buckle up, it gets worse.

[Chase @chaselyons]

if you drink coffee then take melatonin your heart takes a screenshot

[testtest @testmom]

Have a #kid they said, it will be amazing! 😵 #mom #onlinemom https://t.co/32rdxsbR9V