Mamusa

Short on patience, long on my whiskey pour. Lactose and bullshit intolerant. I will cuss you.

[Mamusa @TheMamusa]

I hope my children won’t use my tweets against me. But, I know they will at some point, because they’re assholes.

[Mamusa @TheMamusa]

@mxmclain Well at least i text more than a thumbs up

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Son's College: Consider giving a gift to the Alumni Association!

Me: [sends them back his $34,000 tuition bill with a big red bow on it]

[Neil Lowenthal @NeilLowenthal1]

welcome to the existential parking garage

[Hal O' be thy name. @Halbeerz]

A poem

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Mirror, mirror on the wall
What the hell happened?

[Mac Dickson @MacDicksonShow]

I haven't been hip since 1987... Even then it was sketchy.

[The Intellectualist @highbrow_nobrow]

Do what this sign says. (Reddit)

[@emidpinto on instagram @EmiDPinto]

The perfect bookmark doesn't exis-

[reb @rebmasel]

I think the elephant really ties the room together

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

Kumquat is such a funny word and nobody is talking about it.

[Tater 🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

So, what's everyone up to? Kidding, I don't fucking care.

[Dr Lucy Chalice Author @LucyChalice]

Is there a support group for parents who have attended kid’s parties? 👀😬

[Doc  @DocAtCDI]

the only thing flat earthers fear...

is sphere it'self

[SingleBabyMama @_SingleBabyMama]

If it’s not one damn thing, it’s another or twenty.

[mdh @haggardbones]

Let’s call these orca attacks on boats for what they really are… orcanized crime. (can’t believe I tweet these bangers for free)

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I'm tired. It's been a busy life.