Tate Keller

filled with meaningless thoughts

[John Dingell @JohnDingell]

Perhaps all of us should take up knitting as a hobby.

[Seinfeld Current Day @Seinfeld2000]

lol i photoshoped this https://t.co/kg0oZwZW8J

[Tate Keller @thetatekeller]

Someone at the airport definitely just watched me spill orange juice all over myself and then laughed

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Heartwarming: When Steven Tyler Found Out There Was An Aerosmith Fan With Only 2 Weeks To Live, He Suggested A Bunch Of Better Bands She Should Check Out https://t.co/XjoQnOZ5JV

[Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) @ashleyfeinberg]

Sean Spicer thinks that A Christmas Carol is a collection of Christmas carols

[Adam Cook @adam_cook2014]

My professor handed back our 3 page film essays to my surprise I got a C after class I asked her why “you were supposed to write it about the movie The Emperor of Time.. you wrote it on The Emperor’s new Groove but it was kinda good so I didn’t fail you” so thats how im doing

[Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS]

1. You're*
2. This is not appetizing https://t.co/lDQhh8oFkR

[Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS]

.@ILStatePolice can you guys handle this https://t.co/u4gZcyhDBQ

[alex @mineifiwildout_]

smoking gas :
-heightens anxiety
-makes u sleepy
-can cause short term memory loss
-increases hunger
-pisses Mom off

drinking Gatorade:
-increases peak performance
-quenches thirst
-tastes ight
-replenishes lost electrolytes to help u get back in the game
-mom cool with it

[Pop-Tarts @PopTartsUS]

This is just disrespectful https://t.co/jmdXANjILq

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
ME: Joe.

Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.

[Tate Keller @thetatekeller]

Which do you dislike more?

[Ghost Dog @dumbledazz]

"Everything can be graphed."-@rineheart_42

[Norm Kelly @norm]

Tinder, but for restaurants.

[Tyler @dorm_daredevil]

More and more I wake up not knowing whether my dreams were real or not.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

280 characters? Fuck that.

[Tate Keller @thetatekeller]

Purple is a Halloween color. A lot of people forget about that.