Tim Mata

Your inability to discern retweets, endorsement, opinion, or sarcasm violates my terms of use.

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought him, the Balrog of Meowgoth. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.

[Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew]

If I spend the rest of my life writing comedy I may never write something as funny as shouting “Get tae fuck, ya junkie” at an Orca:

[cats with jobs 🛠 @CatWorkers]

Black cats waiting to be auditioned for a horror movie, 1961.

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

Can't imagine watching Twin Peaks with commercials. Like... how did you even process this?

[The Beverly Tweetmaker @BvrlyTweetmaker]

Pro tip: I know Hyde Park can seem scary, but if you ever feel threatened, just point and yell "look it's Milton Friedman!" and then run the other way as fast as you can

[Katie Rife @RifewithKatie]

Adam Driver is back in the news, which means it is my sacred duty to repost that time he was in the local newspaper protesting the price of mayo packets.

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

I can’t top this

[Melody Mercado @melodymercadotv]

@ChicagosMayor made a short speech before headliner @billieeilish - Yoyoyo Chicago, he said. He called the city soul of the world.

Someone next to me: Damn they brought out a Baptist pastor

Me: That’s the mayor of Chicago

Them: Oh shit. What happened to the short one?

[Maya Contreras @mayatcontreras]

Only someone as iconic as Paul Reuben’s was would attractive such iconic talent, like Grace Jones, for his late 80s-90s TV show, “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse”. He was a comic genius, a brilliant actor, and a beautiful talent. He will be missed. ❤️🕊️

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

i am a gritty of my word

[Tauriq Moosa @tauriqmoosa]

"The plan? Reluctantly buy a social media company, sue my own lawyers, fire most of the staff, refuse to pay rent & fees. Then, once it's hollowed out & all that's left is the brand, replace the brand with most generic, hard-to-google name, such as one letter of the alphabet."

[Robert Loerzel @robertloerzel]

Twitter rebrand has me thinking of …

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

lol