Honestly

the brutal indifference of life

[Honestly @translucentme_]

my 20yo son talking to his 17yo sister about boys… “if you like him leave him on open for 2 weeks & don’t talk to other boys” her “why? he won’t know” son “cause guys won’t talk to other girls if they really like you. they may fuck somebody but they won’t talk to anybody”

[Honestly @translucentme_]

son: grabs my leg
me: that hurt
son: if that hurt I might be able to break your leg
me: I have fibromyalgia
son: what the fuck is that? allergic to fibers…

[Linda @turtledumplin]

😂😭

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Dear kids, you wouldn’t last 5 minutes in 1996.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

Yeah yeah, your nudes are fantastic but what are you reading right now?

[Honestly @translucentme_]

not enough people use shitasses anymore…

[Honestly @translucentme_]

fuck em and feed em fish heads

[Honestly @translucentme_]

what the hell has happened to this world

[Jade Munkii @MunkMania]

no thanks, I’ve overdosed on reality

[Claire Behind The Hair @urmumsausername]

If you had a corded phone like this growing up, you're probably reading this tweet wearing glasses with bifocals. Amirite?

ᴬⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵒˡᵈ ᵃˢ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ʷᵉˡᶜᵒᵐᵉ

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

There was no better feeling than winning a Mötley Crüe mirror at the State Fair

[Honestly @translucentme_]

third day/night in a row i’ve seen fires 🔥 so guess that’s coming…

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

what a bunch of dumb fucks

[Elizabeth Shaw - Overcoming Narcissist Abuse. @CoachElizabethS]

A narcissist's worst nightmare is someone educated in narcissism.

[Larry’s Twin 99 @LarrysTwin99]

I could make you happy, but I’m not cocaine.

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

I hate that sound people make when words come out of their mouth.

[inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa]

If I vaped McDonald's sprite, I bet I could time travel

[Hoss @grHoss]

Men who can light a cigarette with a match in a windy day fuck better.

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Sprayed on some Axe body spray and went as a white unemployed dude that’s behind on his child support

[GovtTookMaBaby @just_evolved]

Hey you know what this house needs? A big box of shit. Let's get a cat

[gonegirl_6 @gonegirl_6]

Your “good deeds” can kiss my ass