Tim

Quintessentially nosey.

[Tim @tscweller]

@shawncbrown @odekul Or capitalising on custom from people without access to (cheaper) online retailers.

[Tim @tscweller]

@HerneHillHeron What a bloody mess!

[Tim @tscweller]

@YvaYvonne74 @TonyW_132 @RealTimVine The addendum. It's called the addendum, and if you rip that bit off it'd be an addendumectomy... doh!

[Tim @tscweller]

@oakley_tomos @paulsinha @BBCRadio4 It's like having a powepoint slide read at you.

[Tim @tscweller]

@odekul How can we simultaneously almost see your bathroom ceiling (ie angle high up) AND the street outside (ie angle low down) in the same shot?! Thanks, I've lost a nights sleep now. Nice selfie, of course.

[Tim @tscweller]

@stephenfry @Digbylj Note the massive-arsed cockwomble has correctly styled his Twitter biog, but signally fails to include "massive-arsed cockwomble" among his achievements.

[Tim @tscweller]

@BroomHilder @Nicki_Chapman What if she's a community nurse, or not actually a nurse but a home care worker?!

[Tim @tscweller]

@Pippisell @janiesherb Been putting my inability to sleep well for the last few nights down to the weather. Now feel certain that your mum's previously disorganised biscuit tin contents were the actual reason. Thank you... so much.

[Tim @tscweller]

@Pippisell @BillanyMartin Obviously substitute Rudimentary Uilleann Pipes if the person requesting your presence is from North of Hadrians wall.

[Tim @tscweller]

@Pippisell @BillanyMartin Intermediate Bagpipes, evening classes. Two hours between 1900 and 2100. Enough to cover you for the whole evening as you need to rest your lungs (with your feet elevated) for a minimum of an hour beforehand.

[Tim @tscweller]

@BillanyMartin @Pippisell I've used that one less convincingly when not on the phone and standing in front of an empty wall planner. I was immediately rumbled (and now have no friends).

Moral: sometimes you just have to do beastly activities to hang on to people you despise.

[Tim @tscweller]

@odekul The ones with piercings on the front are even more dislikeable... and uncomfortable.

[Tim @tscweller]

@Springborn21 @judthepud2 St Botolph's is one of a few thatched churches in Suffolk. There's an early (probably 9thC) Saxon cross inside here though, that's pretty unique.

[Tim @tscweller]

@LordDisco @illandancient @HeidiHenders Absolutely consistent with company formations for franchises. Literally nothing to see here.

[Tim @tscweller]

@SamWildmanNT Congratulations Sam.

[Tim @tscweller]

@odekul @martyajackson @TfL If you're being harassed (it sounds like it) complain to the Enforcement Agency copying TfL now. Use the opportunity to state that the person they're after is not known at your address and that you'll consider your peace breached and act accordingly if they show up again.

[Tim @tscweller]

@clown1274 @RealTimVine I'll have the other one if that's workable. [I prefer right, but negotiable].

[Tim @tscweller]

@Pippisell UNBELIEVEABLE! A dubious local govt politician makes an appearance and I'm not even in the picture? Minded to complain to a random supermarket.

[Tim @tscweller]

@leeds2d @odekul How many plans though?