monkey Princess

[anya @yawnyaa]

just found out there's this specific kind of paper that tells you if a solution is acidic or basic based on the change in colour of the paper. it's like a litmus test (telling someone's larger political opinions based on their stance towards a specific thing)

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

ex-wife took the fucking pronouns in the divorce. Can’t even refer to anymore. Is fucking bullshit. Literally can go fuck self

[fawn @fawnncel]

oh little spider i let stay in my bathroom because you are harmless. What do you even do all day

[Dingus Khan @dinguskhan123]

Grinch test

[Shades @dontcrykanna]

(on my first day as a history teacher)
...The pyramids and, of course, the great sphincters of egypt.

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Elitist captcha where you have to select the correct silverware placement to verify that you're human

[Liste @endliste]

Blindfolded:
“Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. No. Yes.”

Scientist:
“Incredible—even blindfolded, she makes the wrong choice without fail.. Inform the Elders.”

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

trans people: we just want basic respect

c*s people: you're infringing on our rights to be bigots!!!

bpd pirate: I'm sensitive, lad, but it seems ye don't respect that… I said the prospect of ye chattin' to the other crewmates is tantamount to marooning me… and what did ye do

[ANDI @strovi_]

how it feels saying i look forward to the dentist

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

My Brain and Eyes Hirt I need more Phone Time

[the wreck of a once promising youth @devilmaywhy]

un bikini que diga Rainer Werner Fassbinder

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

mention of any Mesopotamian king means it’s time to post one of my all time favorite memes

[Lonious Thee Monk @billevansfan251]

In 1964 my mom sold me to the Miles Davis Quintet.

[smoker of cryptic weed @WASJAPPIN]

[5 hours into completely deadlocked negotiation]

iranian diplomat: a midsummer night's dream? the merchant of venice? surely you've at least seen Lawrence of Arabia?

22 yr old "based fascist" yale graduate raised on 4chan and youtube (chief US negotiator): not ringing any bells

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

god reveals secrets to me via numeric combinations in microsoft authenticator

[🐞 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒐 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ @lastc4ll_]

wearing shorts is so embarrassing. Like here are my legs I guess. jesus christ

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

you are agamemnon, the people's shepherd. swift-footed achilles is mad at you. do you:

1) stand there in your cool helmet. say nothing

2) say "well it was odysseus's idea"

3) say "I hate you most of all the warlords loved by the gods". everyone will love that and it will help

[chico (manoelzinho-da-crôa) @mariadeodorina]

orientador: você está muito atrasado com a dissertação
pai: eu nunca gostei de você
mecânico: a sua moto explodiu, vai ficar cinquenta mil reais
ceramista do mal: eu vou fazer cerâmicas até o último dia da minha vida
barista da pulp: você estava aqui na semana passada

[rune sword @runesword1]

accidentally touched the black flower that appears in my dreams and it’s taken everyone’s names from me. i can’t remember anyone’s fucking names