*Zlatan on Messi missing the PK*
“Everyone misses PK’s. I’ve missed PK’s, Thierry has missed PK’s… Alexi was never asked to take PK’s so he couldn’t miss…” 😬😬
Tonight in group chat: friend got a mysterious package containing lithium batteries and is now receiving texts from an unknown number about said package
[driving]
my astigmatism shows me the light of angels in every street lamp and headlight.
*sees your red brake lights ahead of me* but the Devil remains nearby,
*starts to speed up* I am the Sword of God