Beezil

I'm a delicate fucking flower, god dammit, and you will treat me like a fucking lady.

[Beezil @wrongwaybennett]

Us GenXers are just counting down the years till we can go outside and play again.

[Beezil @wrongwaybennett]

@OpenClassMX Hmmm, we’ll be seeing who’s gonna need that Bactine, mister.

[Michael Ochoa @MafiaKingfish]

Yes bitch, I said 3 dollars on pump 6.

[Jade Munkii @MunkMania]

I stretch my old maternity undies up to my boobs and make myself a cheap girl’s romper.

[GG @Grabnpuss]

This is the longest hallucination ever.

[seraphina @seraphfem]

shoutout to the black amish girl following me on instagram, you better churn that butter sis!!

[Possum Kingdom @aissalanis]

Mental health update:
Currently stressing out about things going too well.

[Chiva M Chapa @Chivers784]

Day 103 without sex: rolled my car window up with my hair caught in it so it would get pulled a little.

[Chiva M Chapa @Chivers784]

Day 87 without sex: brushed the very back of my tongue so I could gag on something.

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

*Being murdered*

"Oh good now I don't have to go to work"

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

You are the Charlie horse during sex of people.

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

You might be an asshole if your only response to an insult is to critique the creativity of said insult..

[Cam @GinAndJif]

Don’t trust anyone who retweets their own tweet within two hours of posting it. They will wear you as a skin suit.

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

I got sloth blood, man.

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

Guy just called me a fat bitch..

Not sure if I should applaud his powers of observation or take him under my wing and teach him how insults are supposed to work.

[Betty @BoomBoomBetty]

Stephen King’s next horror story is about living with women who spend a whole week decorating their houses for Christmas

[Betty @BoomBoomBetty]

It’s okay to be a thirsty ho but you gotta learn how to properly use that big uterus energy

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

Music is my best and longest running relationship with a therapist.

[SithWhore @WickedRapunzel]

I'd fake my own death to get out of work but I'm not in the mood for casserole.