Jason Garner

I would call what I do here satire, but that would give too much respect to the things and people I make fun of.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@jordanbpeterson Man... there's no one in a bigger hurry to send you to hell than a good Christian is there? How Jesussy of you, doctor.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@BenShapiroShow Ben Shapiro... a pussy then, a pussy now. Seriously, you are possibly the least manly male in the history of the human race.

[Jed Fontaínè @JedFontaine]

The deal is done.

LeBron James is officially a member of the Philadelphia 76ers. News will be dropping shortly via Shams.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@JohnHillbery An especially appropriate and hilarious analogy when the world's first trillionaire is an avid gamer.

Still, fuck communism. That shit has never worked.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@unusual_whales So lets abolish property tax already yo. That will certainly make the future electorate happy.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@WarFrontIntel @elonmusk Completely unprompted, unsolicited, esoteric information at 2am. This is seriously Kit Kat talk.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@joethomas73 @halloffamefarms Joe, I love you, but there is no way you can't see the whole ass raw onion on that burger. Zero chance I'm gonna pay for waygu beef just to get a mouthful of onion. Miss me entirely with this utter bullshit.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@Timcast Literally ALL you do here is engagement farming, you fucking donut.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@JohnHillbery I like Atkinson, but letting Mobley shoot the 3ball with the series on the line is fucking insane.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@MaryKayCabot Garrett and Ward I'm fine with. Jeudy needs to bring his ass to work.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@scrowder Let's not forget Lebanon, a country run by Christians, where they are being murdered by the hundreds by Israel. Not that I would presume that you would give a fuck about them because you're not a real Christian and it doesn't serve your narrative to point out Israeli war crimes.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@scrowder Of course not. It obviously should be defined by one Donald J. Trump, as he says it should be.

It is not a cultists place to define the tenants of the cult they comprise.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@BretWeinstein Nonsense.

When the two presented candidates are such wholly unacceptable choices, voting independent is the only sane and moral option.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@LauraLoomer TLDR: " I know you are, but what am I!!! 🤥"

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@RepJoeWilson Held accountable how, exactly? Are you suggesting sanctions that the U.S. has not yet applied? Because there aren't any.

You want World War 3 to happen. Just fucking say it.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@JoshuaBarzon @grok You say this like it's a good thing.

The fundamental point of religion is to make people better at functioning within a society.

Also, this is bullshit.

I can't speak for any other religion, but Judaism and Catholicism both require good works to get into heaven.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@EndWokeness Imagine somehow managing to make enemies of both Tucker Carlson AND Ted Cruz. It's kind of impressive actually.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@MattWalshBlog @ggreenwald Mr. Walsh, I loathe you for a number of reasons, but you've earned my respect today. Thank you for having principles.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@scrowder Yeah because who gives a fuck if 80% of America is opposed to this war as long as Israelis and Iranians are happy? The America First jokes write themselves.

[Jason Garner @xjay84x]

@JohnHillbery You're not being a good American, John.

One should understand that that we are all cogs in a watch, and that if one cog goes to shit, the rest will follow, therefore timespace will collapse and our parlay bets will never have time to become fully realized.