BREAKING NEWS:
After considerable thought, I have reluctantly decided not to participate in #veganuary2019.
There are many reasons, but the main one is that I'd rather impale myself on a rusty spear dosed with sulphuric acid.
Woke up to howling abuse from vegans over this Greggs sausage roll scandal.
I get it, you're all hangry.
I would be too if I only ate plants & gruel.
Want to see me perform at #SBLII#PepsiHalftimeLive FROM THE SIDELINES? RT for a chance to win sideline passes from @Pepsi for you and a guest! https://t.co/B7lDVs8D3V #Sweepstakes