Zack

i exaggerate more than everyone in the world combined

[Zack @zackbenimble]

"What's your name?"

"Zack."

"Is that with an H or a K?"

"With a K. I know it's not very common."

"Happy Birthday Zach!"

"Thanks Aunt Sue."

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@e_dechaine I’ve been that old for ages

[Isaac Saul @Ike_Saul]

I asked @grok to analyze the last 1,000 posts from Elon Musk for truth and veracity. More than half of what Elon posts on X is false or misleading, while most of the "true" posts are simply updates about his companies.

[Zack @zackbenimble]

In only a matter of hours, I've become an expert on the Santa Ana winds.

[History Calendar @HistoryCalendar]

Jimmy Carter is now too old to play with Legos 🧱

[Zack @zackbenimble]

There once was a man from Nantucket…who had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of limericks written about him.

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@grufftech And this is on brand for me, haha

[Zack @zackbenimble]

"Anger is a form of ignorance."

"Other people's opinion of you are merely electrical activity in their brains."

Fascinating!
https://t.co/DMYezmaQjz

[NBC News @NBCNews]

Spirit Airlines has apologized after it mistakenly put an unaccompanied 6-year-old, who was flying for the first time, on the wrong flight during the holiday season travel rush. https://t.co/bxZffCfnfw

[ashley fairbanks @ziibiing]

Okay, I dug through 2000 entries and here are my favorites:

I really tried to think about timelessness and actual flaggy feeling. Would the Dayton brothers put it on a sweater?

[Kyle Potter @kpottermn]

The people of Minnesota have delivered, God bless this state.

[✨@foundbysara on insta @foundbysara]

ranking the Minnesota state flag submissions based on how menacing their loons are:

The ladyslippers-as-spots lure you into a false sense of security, but that glinting red eye can’t be hidden

🐟🐟🐟⚪️⚪️

3/5 terrified walleyes

[Gail Simone 💙💛 @GailSimone]

Okay, so yesterday, @rocketspouse and I went out to lunch at our favorite local Mexican restaurant. I've been working like A LOT and didn't feel like cooking.

So, we sit down, we're having a nice lunch, only one other person in the place, a retired gentleman.

1/

[Zack @zackbenimble]

2014

[Cooper @Cooperstreaming]

If you'd like to see how absolutely nothing has changed in the conversation around Israel & Palestine despite decades of violence, here's Jon Stewart doing a bit that could literally air today without a single change.

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@NotGreenie If you’re burnt and bored, you need a change! If you can’t get that at your current place…well…there are other places. 🙃

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@SarahLiz2006 I dated someone who only loved me for who I could be and never for who I was, and it had the profound effect of teaching me to make sure I'm falling in love with the person in front of me instead of a future version. And I only realized it recently!

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@agent_e17 The Hate U Give! And then had to watch the movie of course. Was very intrigued at the endings of each and how they differed.

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@caitlinmcgowan Both in the left, felt worse than I’ve ever felt from any vaccine ever, minus the first covid vax. 😬 Ibuprofen was a godsend.

[Zack @zackbenimble]

@edgykristina 😂😂😂 I forgive you for not having seen them, this cracked me up enough to make up for it hahaha

[Catherine McNiel ☕📚🌱 @CatherineMcNiel]

Okay everyone. Take a deep, slow, breath.

Breathe in life.
Breathe out weariness.

Breathe in peace.
Breathe out heaviness.

Repeat. 🌱