Zac Evans

Evangelist with the Church of Christ. Husband. Dad.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

We are playing 20 questions while waiting for a table at a restaurant. Emily is trying to get Tucker to guess the answer.
Emily: what is something that we can eat and people ride for fun? [Answer: cow]
Tucker: A funnel cake!
Emily:....no
#parenting #dadlife

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Call me old-fashioned, but if you're company feels the need to use foul language to advertise, I'm not going to buy your product or service.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

My kids when I say "No Running." #dadlife #parenting

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

@ericbullock_

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

@ericbullock_

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Over a year into a pandemic and I'm still amazed at the number of people who don't wash their hands after using the restroom. #gross #youknowwhoyouare

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

How my son dries off his hands instead of using a towel.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

@ericbullock_ I strive to be as persistent as the extended vehicle warranty people.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

It's a "I shattered my favorite mug" kind of day.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

What are these things called? According to my 4-year-old son, they are Robot Turtles. #dadlife #newname

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Dear Kenneth, whoever you are, thank you for putting my phone number as your contact information for a bill you won't pay. I get to avoid the debt collectors on your behalf. You're welcome. #rude #ihopeitwasanaccident

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

@ericbullock_

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Update: we tied two cars to a balloon and he threw it down the stairs.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

My son after saying some contrived plan involving a balloon and a toy car: "I AM A GENIUS!"
Next step in parenting: humility (and maybe a balloon-popping apparatus)

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Something I tell my kids that I must be reminded of myself: "Sometimes when you think you're hungry, you're just bored and need to go do chores." #parenting #Hypocrite

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

If you want to hear what love sounds like, here is a typical conversation between my wife and me:
Me: [tells her about a new nonfiction book I'm reading or podcast I'm listening to]
Her: Wow. That sounds lame.
#love #marriage #shesprobablyright

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

Dear America, there are few things I care about less than what candidate celebrities or athletes endorse. #whocares

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

@drewmaniac Psychologically, they are one and the same.

[Zac Evans @zevans89]

We all recognize how terrible stepping on a Lego is, but have you ever stepped on a raisin while barefoot?

[Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna]

I, for one, do not take advice from a pillow.