Zfump

Formerly Sharkbait | SSBU Wolf | I can’t help but feel responsible for some of the stuff I do

[johnathon smegma @givemecumcum]

my shit only a few inches but it smells like a foot

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

I was perfectly round as a child. The neighborhood kids would roll me down the hill and laugh as I came to a stop in the backyard of the prospective neighborhood diddler. I was never diddled by him. I was too spherical and slippery from the morning dew. I always got away

[the dogfish @the_dogefish]

@nocontextmemes

[Loki @codeHusky]

They call it porn cause I’m porn pepto bismol in the laundry machine

[Kyle @tonyhawkbrosk8]

what the H E double hockey fuck

[frank zeppo @NoahPasternak]

There's no point. I dug up Dobby seven years ago and ate him. Smoked him like a brisket

[jifya8 @jifysn]

The Quran is so long like I ain’t reading allah dat

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

simon and garfunkel more like penis and fart uncle

[John “The Neanderthal” Fetterman @CavemanSenator]

Pepper spraying my ingrown toenail

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Shop wanna charge 2 grand for front and rear brakes hell nah player I got a better idea I will buy all the parts and watch YouTube and then break my car completely then kill myself.

[defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl]

fool me once why would you do that to me

[donald boat @laserboat999]

It would be cool if those little 10 minute summer squalls that dump a bunch of rain on you included heavy rocks and boulders, heavy rocks and boulders and chunks of iron ore

[weekend twitr @WeekendTwitr]

Just going to assume the stuff leaking out of my car is stuff I don't need

[Liste @endliste]

My “boner” is just a piece of my spine and there's nothing sexual about it.

[normal @35yearoldfriend]

Getting a trip sitter for using Zyn

[Flazefire @Flazefire]

The Poop store just lost it’s most valuable customer. I’ll just make my own.

[donald boat @laserboat999]

For those concerned about grocery and other cost of living expenditure I suggest shriveling to 1/8th your regular size and waiting out the economic downturn in a low moisture, desiccated state

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

Promiscuous squirrel you're teasin' me you stole all my nuts now you're up in that tree

[Zfump @zfump]

Any shot anyone has a wireless progcc that they’d be down to sell?