Mama of the Zoo-Farm

adventures in parenthood, partnership, and personhood with four humans, one dog, two cats, and three chickens

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@united @united wouldn’t let us on the flight from ORD-BRU when we got to the gate at 5:64 pm but the plane was still here at 7:05 pm

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

Watching the plane I was told I missed sit at the gate for 45 minutes, when they promised in MSP they’d hold the plane @united

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@united A colleague on the flight confirmed they’re still here and that the door of the plane was open when I got to the gate at 5:54 #unitedlies

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

My Twitter Family:
Parents: @jordynamandaa @kaL12578
Spouse: @ProfAlang
Children: @FlindersEmma @IlhanMN

via https://t.co/Jy0iVoU5sR

⠀

[Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets]

In terms of housekeeping, I can either be found sitting on the couch letting the kids’ cracker crumbs and random Legos accumulate into a mountain, or I can be found rage-washing the throw pillows and vacuuming the dog. There is no in between.

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@not_thenanny You win Wednesday 🤣

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@lezzimomof2 ...a tired one 🥱

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@PerfectMoms 😄

https://t.co/LPGLERGlPK

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

I used to have fresh floral arrangements at the center of the dinner table...

but I’m two kids in so my family ate around a box of printer ink and a jar of crayons tonight.

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

I used to have fresh floral arrangements at the center of the dinner table...

but I’m two kids in so my family ate around a box of printer ink and a jar of crayons tonight.

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@nikebasketball @Nike @kendricklamar So s Xmas? Xdsz u0

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

DATING: can’t wait to see you again

MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

I told my spouse I wanted to shower, and bathe our kids, before going to a friend's house and he said: "Oh, so it's like a fancy get together?"

And that's how our social distancing time is going...

2020: When getting clean and changing out of pajamas was "fancy".

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@TheNYAMProject Jeff Bezos

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

Does anyone else have a toddler that eats their whole plate of food and then eats their ketchup with a fork? No? Just mine?

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

@lildowneyy I would be lying if I told you that I haven't licked food from my baby's head in public 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

2's birthday is Thursday.

Me: What do you want for your birthday?

2: A TV for me and a coffee for dad and a coffee for mom...

My job here is done.

[Mama of the Zoo-Farm @zoo_chronicles]

2-year-old: Thank you for getting me water, Mama!

Me: You're welcome!

2: I don't need you're welcome.

Me: