Zachrobatic

Actor/singer/writer/angry lib in a middle school gym teacher's body. Photos of your cats encouraged. He/him.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@outis169 @SandyofCthulhu @AmarthiaAuthor Totally agree. It's a ridiculous movie, and I adore it so.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@copesint It says a lot that letting Hitler plan strategy turned out better overall than assasinating him, thereby possibly allowing someone competent enough to find their own asshole without a flashlight to take his place, ever would have.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@cljack Word emphasis is key:

"*I* didn't come here to fuck spiders" = "But *you* did."

"I didn't *come* here to fuck spiders" = "But considering it 🤔"

"I didn't come *here* to fuck spiders" = "I fuck 'em elsewhere"

I didn't come here to fuck *spiders*" = "Other arachinds tho 😉"

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@turnintoabat He literally made none of those. He just stepped in and took credit for them.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@SandyofCthulhu @AmarthiaAuthor I mean, the snow-capped mountains in the background of "Rumble in the Bronx"...

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@SandyofCthulhu I can't stand "bullet spark." Bullets do not spark when they hit things. It takes me out of the moment, like hearing tires squeal on a dirt road.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@LCSscallywag @Katerade I'm still off the booze.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@Spark898 Not me. I went to a conservative religious college. There were two kinds of Christians there: the dumb ones without enough imagination to be any trouble, and the secret creepers who leeched off the idiots. The latter group would fuck anyone who'd let them.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@turnintoabat Once I drove to hook up with a girl off an app. Parked and saw she'd messaged; she now wanted money to meet. The street outside her address was closed to traffic. Then she told me to send her $300 using Zelle (no cash!), at which point it became obvious it was the fucking NYPD.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

FREN

[Manoco @Moonlighhy]

My roommate is a..

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

This is my preferred method of execution.

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay? 🐶: are u okay?

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

Oh I destroy...

[Paladin Posting @DevotionOath]

CUNNILINGUS WAS INVENTED SO ONE COULD WORSHIP BY EATING WITHOUT DESTROYING

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

She's not returning my texts though.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

FACTS

[The Lesbian Pervert @babyknifespice]

I believe I was put on this earth to make women laugh and also cum

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@MikeBales Turns out a surprising number of people have a thing for dad bods. I got more attention in my late 40s-early 50s than I ever had before.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@kayteterry Half of the fun is still smelling her all the next day.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@Spoon_town @ArmedJ0y That fucking shirt alone...

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

@fw_naetoblaq How dare you

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

This is basically the kind of people I used to see at my high school reunions.

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

A 9,000-year-old skeleton discovered in a cave near Cheddar, England, became known as “Cheddar Man.” When scientists analyzed his DNA, they found an astonishing connection: a living descendant was working as a history teacher less than half a mile from where the ancient remains were uncovered, linking nearly 300 generations across nine millennia.

[Zachrobatic @ztw4]

MY. HEART.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

wtf is the fourth hole???