Tiffany Shaver

Some people are more interested in other people's life than their own.

[Kathleen Haugland @kisternaya1]

Dear sneeze, If you're gonna happen, Happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

[Jill Barnes @3lChikvina75]

You a BROKE bitch & ya friends broke too , yall share clothes , underwear & probably DICK TOO !

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

The awkward moment when you're trying to get over someone you never even dated.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

There's a reason SOLO rhymes with YOLO.

[Michelle Funes @pepnova1]

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

Twitter becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I cant stand when people say a baby's age in months after a year old, the parent is like "yeah he's 29 months old. Like, seriously?

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

[Neva Smiley @88Izot]

I'm pretty sure fat people cry on purpose so they can taste their tears.

[Bidisha Kalita @BidishaKalita01]

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

My wife just told me she's pregnant. God, I hope it's not mine.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

The road to success...Is always under construction.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

There are two kinds of bitches who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

[Beverly Donahue @DSpataev1976]

That awkward moment when you're trying to ignore a call and accidentally answer it.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

It's getting late and the kids are still hunting for eggs... Hmm, I guess I should've hidden some.

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I only smoke on days that end in Y.

[Stacie Brasel @abonakov]

Rumors: carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by ignorants.