20 20 24 hours 2 go

nothing to do

[kate_armstrong @kate_armstrong]

Skeptical of future oriented implanted devices if only because of how bad remote controls are

[Waj @myconfusedface]

Chocolate has very few vitamins, that's why you have to eat quite a lot of it.

[Mark Peters @wordlust]

Some stuff is ew. Other stuff is ick.

[donni saphire @donni]

I don't sleep, cuz sleep is my cousin and that would be gross

[donni saphire @donni]

"I saw the size and it opened up my thighs" -An X-Rated Ace Of Base Parody WHOA Is Nothing Sacred!? lol

[20 20 24 hours 2 go @202024hours2go]

In unrelated news, I will soon be unrelated to my relatives, if Proposition Blood-Not-Thicker-Than-Water passes. Please vote!

[Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark]

An entire bag of dicks? In this economy?

[Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark]

Alcohol isn't the answer, it's the question. The answer is "yes."

[inmynewskin @inmynewskin]

I can always tell I'm depressed when I start finding Kelly Clarkson attractive.

[Eli Braden @EliBraden]

Note to self: Don't yell out "What time is it?? ... IT'S CUM O' CLOCK!!" during sex again

[inmynewskin @inmynewskin]

Therapist said I'm too controlling & I have permission to act crazy once in a while so gonna try to have sex with a squirrel brb

[IanWears👖 @IanWearsPants]

My interactions with women could best be described by Fran Drescher's laugh followed by a long sigh.

[Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark]

Vodka is a clear solution for my problems.

[Eli Braden @EliBraden]

Sofia Vergara and Salma Hayek are the Beatles and Stones of Latin boobies

[Jamie Capria @MrFornicator]

Every slice of pizza negates a beer. Drink 8 beers and then eat an entire pizza... you'll be left with no buzz whatsoever. #trustme

[20 20 24 hours 2 go @202024hours2go]

This lipstick is too simplipstick.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

If God works through me, it begs the question: what's His plan for all this masturbating I do?

[Mettttal @Mettttal]

False metal withers under the hot heat of scrutiny.

[donni saphire @donni]

Turns out, Funky Town is actually just a very smelly town.