Florence Lancaster

Life is full of risks. Take them, because you'll never know what could have happened if you don't.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Care too much, u get hurt... Care too little, u lose them.

[Elsie Castello @slambanin]

When somebody says "10 years ago" I think about the 90's instead of 2002.

[Jennie Myles @5Avstriyakova83]

If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Admit it...When someone falls down...you laugh at them first and then help them up.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Today I broke my personal record of consecutive days alive!

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Broke people always tryna make plans

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

When I say the other day, it can mean any time from yesterday to 364 days ago.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Yeah, bitches! I just sharpened a pencil with a KNIFE. I feel like such a man. I'm gonna go show my mom. BRB

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Those girls on "My Super Sweet 16" that get pissed when daddy buys them the wrong car. B*tch, I don't even have a bike.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

[Dorothy Pettigrew @ikyzajche]

"In my defense, Your Honor, humans ARE animals too. Personally, I think you should blame the petting zoo sign for not being more specific."

[Ella Johnson @lagutkoz]

Me: "Haha I'm older!" Friend: "Haha you'll die first!" Me: "Not if I get my license first and run you over."

[Julia Flowers @vdrymov]

Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video? >.<

[Frances Steward @dzhalayag]

A recent study shows that 90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

I might not be everything you ever wanted, but I'm always going to be more than you deserve.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

Horror movies don't scare me. But eight missed calls from my mom does.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Florence Lancaster @79Landysh]

A cop pulled me over and said ''Papers...'' So I said, ''Scissors, I win!'' and drove off like a boss.

[Shannon Miller @ASinepalov]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.