Ruby Youngblood

I don't forgive people because I'm weak. I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes.

[Judith Snow @sass841]

That awkward moment when one twin calls the other twin ugly.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

How do Hypnotists get from place to place? By public trance-port!

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

Anyone else hate tomatoes but like ketchup?.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

My Boss asked me to start the Presentation with a Joke; I attached my Salary Payslip on the 1st Slide.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

Dear Michael Jordan please start making condoms so these people will start wearing them..

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

We feed our baby onions so we can find him in the dark at night.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

If you did not see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, dont invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

"Because snow isn't cold enough."

[Amber Frye @F6Kutashovaz]

Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. My alarm is the cops. Work is the jail.

[Marilu Howard @gatin962]

SCHOOL IS POINTLESS... English: We Speak It, History: They're dead get over it, Math: 1+1=2..Beyonce taught us that.. Spanish: We Have Dora.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

"It means 'to be happy'."

[Leta Martinez @vagulich]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.

[Julie Martin @Bludnishchev93E]

Saying you'll wake up EARLY to get something done... then when you wake up, convincing yourself it's not important.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

TEXTING 101: (Oh) = Stop talking to me. (K) = I'm done talking. (Whatever) = Screw you. (Fine) = Screw it. (I guess) = I don't give a damn

[Theresa Miller @kborozdichev]

I named my penis "The Truth" because bitches can't handle it.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

He never forgets his wife's birthday. It's the day the ambulance usually picks him up from work.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

[Ruby Youngblood @84Stishev]

Rule 1 for arguments: If you're losing, start correcting their grammar.

[Stella Kindred @76Akakiy]

Making faces at a baby when the parents aren't looking.