Carrie Hurt

For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

[Denise Flury @khisyuk]

That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone like 5 times.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

"Dad, are you afraid of ghosts?"

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

An update that requires me to restart my laptop is an update that is never getting installed.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.

[Alexandria Kelly @dpabaskina]

I keep hitting "escape", but I'm still here.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

i would love to meet the teenage versions of my parents

[Susan Everett @chibezkova98]

Saying "I'm almost there" when you actually haven't even left the house.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

Why are children obese? Probably because burgers are $.99 and salads are $4.99.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

"Are you single?" .. "No, I'm plural." .. "No, i meant are you free this Friday?" .. "No, I'm expensive." ;)

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

I miss being a kid. No one cared how you dressed, we were all friends, and you could be yourself. When did we turn so judgmental?

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

The best way to make someone remember you? Borrow money from them.

[Margaret Blais @musyakaeva1]

There's a difference between... "okay" "okay?" "okay..." "okayy" and.. "K."

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

Kony 2012 - Unable to capture him, yet they are able to take a perfect HD photo of him...

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

I'm here on Twitter because my family is on Facebook.

[Winifred Sorensen @ErnestMiglovets]

That awkward moment when you're trying to explain how a song goes but you really don't want to sing it

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

I hope someday chickens will be able to cross the road without their motives being called into question.