Alexander Clarke

I'm a person #gamer #win #egg #hashtag #followback

[Alexander Clarke @Alex_Clarke16]

@alexanderrX_ T

[Alexander Clarke @Alex_Clarke16]

@thejimothyp Good news! You can still do half of that now!

[Alexander Clarke @Alex_Clarke16]

@thejimothyp 'Luck'

[Alexander Clarke @Alex_Clarke16]

@thejimothyp @WeAlIlKnowA just no..........

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"I hate to say I told you so" - Translation: I love to say I told you so

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

Got locked out of the Euphemism Society last night. So I smashed their back doors in.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

ME: I want to sue the airline for losing my luggage
LAWYER: You don't have a case
ME: No need to rub it in mate

[Sean Leahy @thepunningman]

"What's that?"
I call it a 'knife'
"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"
Gregory, I am about to blow your mind

[jacksfilms @jacksfilms]

Welcome to the Internet

where you don't need kids to be a daddy™

[Bad Advice Dog @BadAdviceDog]

"Your storage is full" thanks Apple, I'll just go delete some photos of my friends and family but at least I'll always have the stocks app

[Phil Jamesson @PhilJamesson]

Me: Well, I used to be a barista at Starbucks, but then I realized I could talk to the dead.
You: Wow! You're a medium?
Me: No, I'm a grande

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

Just met someone else who doesn't know what a globe is. It's a small world.

[50 Nerds of Grey @50NerdsofGrey]

'Faster!' she cried as he slowly went in and out, in and out, in and out.
'Sorry,' he said. 'I just can't decide how to vote on Brexit.'

[Alexander Clarke @Alex_Clarke16]

@WeAlIlKnowA @thejimothyp

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

Caressing a rabbit's foot, which is a stroke of luck.

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

Reduce the appearance of ageing in photoshop using the Benjamin button.

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

Wales should be more than a little concerned that Putin has ordered that Russia "deploy a sub". #WALRUS

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

As someone who knows NOTHING about football I am VERY ANGRY about being misled about the #WALRUS hashtag