Mike Mentalpause

Lost my bio. If found please rewrite

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

This is my beaver tweet and if you don't like it I have otters

[Funky cold McDLC @davidleecourt]

Woke up still living the scream.

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

@abi4205 Sorry I'm late.. Where's the 3 tiered cake I'm supposed to jump out from?

[Satan @s8n]

Why is it always ‘not today Satan’ but never ‘how are you today Satan’ 😔

[Trudacious @Trudacious]

Doing it wrong is what I do right.

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

Ever think about settling for less than average?

- Me out of pickup lines

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

My garment factory was flourishing until it all came apart at the seams

[Vincent Cacklemore @ohthatbadger]

Ah yes, I remember it well. It was the same year that Gwen Stefani taught everyone how to spell banana.

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

Just killed another DM room w/o leaving any DNA if anyone's looking for a room cleaner

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

I bet that blue liquid they keep the combs in tastes delicious.

[Jade Munkii @MunkMania]

Ever feel like you’re just chain smoking life?

[John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets]

My neighbor’s cat got into the booth with me when I was testing my teleportation device and now there’s cat hair all over my genes.

[John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets]

Me: I’m overthinking this.

Friend: So you’re trying the opposite of your usual approach.

[Stacey @skittle624]

I have to set my alarm tomorrow.

*a horror story

[Absynth Lover @seegreenfairys]

So, is this what being middle aged is all about? Just sitting on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune, and every time someone buys a vowel, I die inside just a little bit more...

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

Those boobs look like they'd fit perfectly in my hands.

- Me out of pick up lines

[HSIC @JustMrsScorpio]

They don’t make people like they used to.

[Mike Mentalpause @BareChesty]

Her: Make me a play list.

Me: *starts writing random games I like to play on her stomach..