Anita Garris

If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.

[majdi wassouf @majdi105]

This is Tug. He's not required to wear the cone he just wants his voice to project more clearly. 11/10

[Delores Morgan @SeynaVip]

Brain : reminds you to do something important, refuse to tell you what it is!

[The Wall Street Journal @WSJ]

From Kevin Hart going gray to Jake Gyllenhaal’s quarantine mane, male celebrities are finally showing the world what they look like without their glam teams.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my money, dont you think you can trust me with your pen?

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

No matter how amazing you are at something, there will always be an 8 year old Asian kid who is better.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

When I talk to babies and pets I do it like an idiot.

[Sherri Seaton @kurlovich2016]

Bad decisions make good stories.

[Hazel Williamson @2016Mazalov]

*Stalking crush on Facebook* * Accidentally likes status from 2009* *Deletes Facebook* *Sets computer on fire*

[Gladys Rey @83Kuritsina]

The 1st restaurant on the moon didn't do very well. It had great food but no atmosphere.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. rtewete fi yuo aer smrat.

[Helen Thompson @MinishaMr]

Rembrandt painted 700 pictures in his life time and Americans have all 7000 of them.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

White bitches get pregnant and get a show "16 and Pregnant" Black bitches get pregnant and get 30 minutes of Maury.

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

Facebook Is Like The Hood News. You Find Out Who Die, Who Was Fighting, Who Together, Who Broke Up, Who Fucking Who, Who Pregnant

[Suzanne Olson @AykuiKnyshova]

10 & Playing. -> 11 & Looking. -> 12 & Kissing. -> 13 & Touching. -> 14 & Sucking. -> 15 & Fu*king. -> 16 & Pregnant!

[Laura Hernandez @KuchevMs]

A computer science student cleaned his hands with a soap after removing a virus from his computer.

[Pamela Mullins @Vyskrebtsova4]

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

I wanted to give you something you need but I didn't know how to wrap up a bath tub.

[Claire McCabe @97Silantiy]

"What do we want?" "A cure for obesity!" "When do we want it?" "After lunch!"

[Anita Garris @Chesner80]

Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. Why? Because there's no place like home.