craicraicraig

[craicraicraig @CraigLuery1]

Just beat my personal best in consecutive days lived. I’m going for the record again tomorrow.

[craicraicraig @CraigLuery1]

I like to call my stomach “the greater good” so that whenever I eat anything I can say “it’s for the greater good”

[craicraicraig @CraigLuery1]

My most toxic trait is thinking I could survive the scream movies cause I’m good at horror trivia.

[craicraicraig @CraigLuery1]

Petition to start filling bubble wrap with helium. Packages will be lighter plusss you can make your voice funny while popping the bubbles.

[James @CaucasianJames]

not sure the internet is ready for this conversation

[craicraicraig @CraigLuery1]

What does it say about the state of the world when all of its richest people are trying to leave it.

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Everyone saying it’s a bad time to buy a used car because they’re so expensive but my neighbor Chris just sold me his 2018 BMW for $500 and all I had to do was sign some forms saying I was with him all day on May 31st.

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

i’m gonna find out who runs this radio station’s account and fight them

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Biographer *turns on recorder* ok what's your earliest memory?

Me *in deep thought for a long time* I think I had eggs on Tuesday

[Mrs. Hubble @MrsSHubble]

So close...

[Kate Sullivan @KateSullivanDC]

Mass shootings in the US just in the past month.

[𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕦𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣 @angelamavalla]

10 years ago, my Chemistry teacher told me that my chances of becoming a Pharmacist were next to nothing...

This morning, I dispensed her prescription

[👑 Big Daddy 👑 @Demetrius_wrigh]

Job I applied for 4yrs ago just now emailed me back, ima go through the process and quit the first day

[Patches @mostly_cheese]

Wish I lived on the International Space Station so when it came time to vacuum my room I could just open a window and be done with it.