Meggles

Always tweet people the way you want to be tweeted.

[cory @coolmathgame_]

[first guy to go birdwatching] someone needs to be watching those fuckin things

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

911: ok just stay where you are

me: [stuck in the baby swing] ok

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

[first day as a baker]

boss: open this door. you better not be making sculptures again

me: ahh [frantically trying to hide bread pitt and angelina doughlie] just a second

[trash jones @jzux]

why would i finish a thought when i could start a new more exciting one

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

[Meggles @Dimemeg]

My dear talented friend, @GilTougas
https://t.co/p9qOgEpM2z

[lexaprofessional @queasy_f_bby]

one time in college i was so mad a guy rejected me i updated my facebook status to "who even really cares" and it wasn't until a week later i realized i posted that on the anniversary of 9/11

[Prof. Michael Sweet @DiseaseMatters]

Back in day, travellers/explorers would draw what they saw. This is where many sea monster stories come from ie. tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water - giving belief to something more sinister lurking beneath....however, many cases it was just whale dicks.

[Meggles @Dimemeg]

Hey, look at my cute dog! LOOK AT HER !!!
#dogsoftwitter

[Meggles @Dimemeg]

@Helen_KelIer I had a steamy conversation with her the other night

[Gil Tougas @GilTougas]

It’s Toyz time tonight at the Trop
!! All the 80s hair rock you will ever need !! The place to be Tuesday nights!! A great venue ,awesome food and drink specials as well. 10:30 PM start ,see you there!!

[Meggles @Dimemeg]

Jesus is watching

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

*in the crowd at Beach Boys concert*

PLAY THE ONE ABOUT SURFING!

[☘️Sheila Maloney☘️ @shewitsch]

Men : why do you carry such a big purse?

Also men : can you put this in your purse?

[Nicken Drumsticks @beefman138]

There are a lot of things that run in my family.

Fortunately, I am not one of them.

[Lindsay @Rollinintheseat]

I killed an hour today. The other measurements of time are terrified of me now.

[JC Tarp @jctwritesstuff]

I haven't found any food in my hair for like three days if anyone wants me to give them some life advice.