Sheila Dobbs

It's not about who hurt you and broke you down. It's about who was always there and made you smile again.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Breaking News : Ne ws.

[Leta Martinez @vagulich]

Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in our family. Doctor: No, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

[Christine Williams @93Saveliy]

Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can't stop smiling like an idiot..

[Maria Yates @MegaNesvat]

"What does STFU mean?" "Shut the f*ck up!" "Damn dude, chill... I was just asking..."

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Yawning: Your body's way of saying "10% battery remaining."

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

That awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

"Dad, can I go to a 50 Cent concert?" "Sure son, here's $1, take your sister too!"

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Unicorns can't fly. I can't fly. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Gave my son a pocketknife & the crybaby cut himself. So I'm dyeing his hair black & disguising him as an emo kid before his mom gets home.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

I got pulled over for drunk driving... but honestly, in my defence, I didn't even know I was driving.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Amanda Martinez @FateychevIzosim]

Paper cut = A tree's moment of revenge.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Only In The Hood a nigga will steal your shit & help you look for it. . . "Damn bruh where you last had it at?"

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

Saying "never mind" when you don't feel like repeating yourself.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.