Jacqueline Kenney

You will not be ready to face the future if you continue to search for your past.

[Elenore Allen @MsZlobnov]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

I saw a man at the beach yelling. "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

I hate when people say while watching a movie "did you see that?" . No, i paid 12$ to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

[Lynn Nutting @EtvaliashviliGa]

The best revenge you could ever do to the person who broke your heart, is to just let them see that you're happy without them.

[Veronica Diggs @galyamanu]

Admit it, we all have that one person that you just wanna slap across the face.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate bars and someone asks for 4, how many do you have left? Me: 10

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

Saying "I'm almost there" when you actually haven't even left the house.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

"Hi, Welcome to Hollister. Here's your gas mask and your flashlight."

[Donna Barkley @2016Ipat]

Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

The worst feeling is pretending you don't care about something, when really it's all you seem to think about.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

After an argument, I always think of awesome things I could have said.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

[June Patton @Gasova78]

The sentence The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, uses every letter in the alphabet.

[Jacqueline Kenney @MissProtasiy]

That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.

[Colleen White @BGbabalych]

Voldermort: "So all I have to do is lie?" Pinocchio: "Yup."

[Tiffany Shaver @2016Fokeeva]

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.