Delores Barnes

My problem is I can't stay mad. I always end up forgiving people, even when they don't deserve it.

[Pamela Mullins @Vyskrebtsova4]

I don't care how funny something is, if I don't like you, I'm not laughing ....

[Shannon Capps @komochkina74]

My Vocabulary = 50% swearing, 50% sarcasm.

[Natalie Bilbrey @elependin]

If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

[Margaret Newman @plugarevserapi1]

The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them.

[Shannon Sternberg @glybchenko]

If my wife ends an argument with "Fine, do what you want!" I'm pretty sure the words "If you do, I'll stab you in your sleep" are implied.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

RELATED: Wife getting suspicious of all the little hairs in our vanilla ice cream.

[Maria Wrobel @trikhunkov]

If you're a small guy in prison, I bet the worst cellmate you could get would be a big angry ventriloquist who misses his dummy.

[Della Irvin @MissPodkopay]

When they really miss u, they'll do something about it... If not, u'll know where u stand.

[Kimberli Bilderback @grinyagina82]

My motto is Y.O.Y.O. = You're On Your Own

[Karen Jimenez @drablenkov1]

Guess it's time to do some grocery shopping. A mouse hung itself in my fridge and left a note "I can't live like this..."

[Jenna Smith @bruevich1992]

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

I want to name my 3 kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete, that way If they screw up, I will just hit them all at once.

[Marth Jacks @L6Ezhinskaya84]

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

Once you turn 21, you can finally legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 16.

[Roxanne Nickerson @AidaBraychenko]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

Dear YouTube, I will always Skip this ad."

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

If pets could talk, I think we'd all be in trouble... They've seen too much.

[Delores Barnes @97Popliya]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.